Due to PPROM, on February 21st, 2012 we lost our little boy Nadav at 22 weeks, 5 days. His short time on this earth with us has taught us so much, and you can find some of those lessons here.

I don’t want his story to be one that causes anxiety.

For him, if you are pregnant, and have found your way to this page, please let his loss be a source of lessons and light, and not a story to cause you worry. The cause of PPROM in my specific case was most likely an Incompetent Cervix, due to a number of surgical procedures I had (namely a D&C after my first loss and a lap surgery).

With each pregnancy I’ve had (four so far, one blighted ovum, two suspected ectopics and of course, our Nadav), I’ve found myself coming to blogs dealing with baby loss to see if there’s anything I can learn to keep my babies safer. It has never helped.

So I have two messages for anyone who comes across this page: The first is, if you are pregnant, to make sure you get your cervix length monitored often. The second – and the most important – is that you don’t let fear rule your experiences in life. That is one of the many lessons my son taught me. I hope that is what you take away from this blog if nothing else. I wish you love and light, as much as my son left behind and as much as was given to me as a result of his loss.

If you have found me because you yourself have gone through a loss, please remember that despite the pain, you have to take care of yourself. There is no shame in asking for help if you need it. Some people asked how I survived this. It was with a lot of love and help from family, friends, and pharmaceuticals. Please reach out if you feel like you are drowning. If you feel like you have no one to reach out to, then reach out to me. I am here. For any of you, always.

Before things started going wrong, I recorded some of our first trimester below, when he was first called “Shmembryo” and then “The Shmaby”. The first comments you will see at the bottom of this page also refer to that time.

Shmaby at 12 weeks:

12 Week Update

The Shmaby at the NT scan – 11 weeks, 5 days.

11 Week Update

10 Week Update

The Shmembryo at 9 weeks, 3 days. The squiggle has become a blob!

9 Week Update

8 Week Update

U/S at 7 weeks, 3 days:

That squiggle will eventually be a baby. Or so they say…

18 Responses to “Nadav”

  1. Rachel @ Eggs In A Row November 11, 2011 at 23:57 #


  2. SRB November 11, 2011 at 23:59 #

    Hello little squiggle! XO!

  3. chon November 12, 2011 at 04:35 #

    I totally did a fruit ticker just for you.

  4. someday-soon November 12, 2011 at 06:32 #

    Great picture of the Shmembryo =)

  5. Emily November 12, 2011 at 08:10 #


  6. St. Elsewhere November 12, 2011 at 16:03 #

    LOL…he/she looks like a tiny dinosaur to me….

    Good Luck Shmembryo!

  7. Christina November 12, 2011 at 16:55 #

    That thing does end up being a baby at some point… Soo happy for you!

  8. Odyssey to Hope? November 15, 2011 at 03:24 #


  9. Kelly November 15, 2011 at 20:43 #

    wow – that’s what they look like? Beans?

  10. Rachel December 13, 2011 at 21:12 #

    So happy for you!!! Mazal tov!!!

  11. Wannabemom March 4, 2012 at 19:16 #

    I like what you’ve written on this page. The “story” without the story. xo

  12. Lori March 14, 2012 at 01:42 #

    I’m so sorry for your loss. Thank you for always helping others through your words. Sweet thoughts to you and your family.

  13. Port of Indecision March 17, 2012 at 01:57 #


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    […] The Shmembryo […]

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  5. Havaya Metakenet Redux | Mommy Odyssey - December 23, 2013

    […] Nadav […]

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