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Tag Archives: work at home mom

Bullets on Bunny (see what I did there?): Holy Day Care Shortage Batman! Edition

21 Jan
  • Seriously guys – I have NO TIME. I’m really sorry for the disappearing act. I just got hired as a full-time employee rather than an outside contractor by the company I’ve been working for for the past year (yay!), and it’s awesome – but it’s not doing wonders for my work load, to say the least.
  • Which brings me to day care. Holy crap. Seriously. First of all, practically every place we’ve contacted doesn’t have any openings until September (!) which is of no help at all, considering there’s a slight chance we may not even be living here anymore in September. We’ve found ONE place that we visited on Friday, but I admit I’m having a bit of a freak out over it. How will I know if something there isn’t right? How will I know she’s being taken care of properly? Is it even possible for me to like anything that involves me not being with Bunny 24/7? We’re not planning on starting until March. But still – OMG this is too soon. We’re only going to do half days for now but I still am having a really hard time wrapping my head around it.
  • Plus – this shit’s expensive! So now I’m going to feel all sorts of pressure to “justify” the expense. I admit, it feels weird sending Bunny to day care when I work at home three days a week. I also know that it’s the best solution for my sanity. I need those few hours to GET SHIT DONE. I need a haircut. I need new glasses. We need to find a new apartment closer to work. And most importantly – I need to not be working until 1-2am every night.  It’s just hard no matter which way I look at it. The only upside is that I still have a month and a half to process it all. That is – assuming we actually decide this is the right place for Bunny. If that doesn’t happen – then we’re totally screwed. At least in the short term until we move. If we ever find the time to find a new place. Sigh.
  • I admit, I’ve been having a shitty week. One of Shmerson’s Twitter followers is in the process of losing her twins at 22 weeks. She reached out and I’ve been doing my best to support her, and I’m REALLY glad I can be there for her. Being able to help like this gives losing Nadav some meaning. But it’s making me think about him. A lot. Exactly a month from today will be two years. In a lot of ways it still feels so raw. This week he’s especially at the forefront of my thoughts.
  • On top of that, Bunny’s having a bit of a tough time. Some digestive issues (no poop talk, I promise), and I think her first tooth may be coming in because she’s been visibly in pain. I hate seeing that so much. I feel so helpless sometimes when I don’t know how to help her.
  • All of this is making me even more sleep deprived, which I think is kind of amplifying it all.
  • Ok, I didn’t mean to get whiny. Generally things are AMAZING. The new job has given me a real sense of stability after being a freelancer for so long, and I have this amazing little person in my life who makes me endlessly happy. We just need to take some steps to lighten the load on me a bit. We’ll get there in the end. Things are never perfect. But if there’s one thing I’ve learned is that everything is temporary – both good and bad.
  • So I’ll try to spend this week focusing on the good. (And attempting to ignore the copious amounts of caffeine I’ve been consuming. )
  • And enjoying every moment of my amazing little girl.

bunny

Hope all of you out there in bloggy-land are doing well! How are you all? Tell me in the comments!

 

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Still Here

7 Dec

Holy crap it’s been forever!

So I finally did get a new computer – but I got it exactly 2 days before going back to work, and since then it’s been complete chaos.

I always thought working at home would be easier than working outside the house. Man was I wrong. It’s sooo hard.

Shmerson spends 12-13 hours a day out of the house so it’s down to me to cook dinner and take care of day-to-day household stuff. Plus taking care of Bunny, PLUS working a full time job. I spend two half days in the office during the week, and the grandmas babysit. I actually manage to get stuff done, but then of course it’s hell being away from Bunny. Shmerson does what he can but there’s only so much, since he’s out of the house for so many hours each day.

We’re gently transitioning Bunny’s sleep routine so hopefully things will be on a bit more of a set schedule, but I’m not sure that will be enough.

I feel like I have one too many balls in the air.

We’ll be putting Bunny in day care (half days) when she hits six months and I hope that will ease things, but I really don’t want to do it before that. It’s winter, so day care at this point will basically mean taking care of a sick baby most of the time. Plus I just feel like it’s too soon.

So right now I feel like I’m not being enough of anything. Not enough of a mom, not enough of a wife, not enough at my job.

This is so so hard.

If any work-at-home moms have any advice I would really appreciate it. I feel like I’m drowning.

Bunny is amazing. We’re getting the reflux under control finally and she is so mellow and just a complete joy. I enjoy every moment I spend with her. The problem is that right now she’s spending more time in the play gym than she is with her mom. I hate it.

Anybody have a life vest out there?

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