So – I am absolutely exhausted, but I figured it was time for an update. So pardon me for the bullet points, but this is all a random jumble.
- I resisted POAS the last couple of days (thanks for everybody’s feedback, BTW!). Today I saw the coveted EWCM so I ended up doing it, just because it’s only CD 14 and I haven’t O’d this early since I started tracking. It was positive, but one of those half dark lines, so I’m not completely sure where that falls. Even if it counts as negative, it means I’m close. Which makes me really happy. First, because I have no idea what side I’m popping from which will make resisting baby making much easier, and second, I think the progesterone, as torturous as it was, did some good stuff for my cycle. We’ll see on what CD the red lady shows up. I’m curious.
- Dr. Happy Pills changed around my dosage last week, and that’s doing good things as well. He added Ati.van to the mix, and upped my zo.loft. It makes me hella tired, which is good, because I’m actually going to bed before 4am most nights. Downside: I don’t get to skype as much with my ET/PT time friends (sorry Marie!). Upside: I’m actually conscious before noon most days, and functioning waaaay better.
- My house has become a train station. Ever since we advertised the place as being for sale, my phone has been ringing off the hook and we have people here all hours of the day. I would restrict it, but I want to get this place sold. The sooner we sell it, the sooner we’re in our new place. And I want to be in our new place. It’s time I get to some serious nesting action.
- I’m suffering from a serious case of Harry Potter withdrawal. I had spent the last couple of weeks writing that series of columns for keypulp, and now I’m in need of a fix. I’ll probably end up doing a review of the last film after all. As soon as I have time to breathe. Which I don’t right now.
- I went to visit PM today and got to hold the little one for like half an hour as he slept. I think it was the most at peace I’ve felt in a very long time. I have a lot more to say about what I’m learning from her, but that’s for a longer, less rambly post. But in general, that kid is just so precious. I didn’t imagine I’d love him as much as I do. But I do. It’s not that I’m not a bit envious, because I am. But my awe and my love for PM and the kid completely overshadow that. I’m incredibly grateful. It’s teaching me a lot about this journey.
- I’m looking for a full time job, outside of the house, because this whole work at home thing does not do good things for my psyche. So far, no luck, because there are very few content-driven companies in my city and I don’t want to commute. The funny thing is that the more I look for full time work, the more freelance jobs fall in my lap, plus a possible opportunity to actually get a feature film made just fell from the sky last week (I won’t talk about it more now – it’s still too early and the status of the project is up in the air, so I don’t want to jinx it). The Flying Spaghetti Monster has decided to lob meatballs at me or something. Things are WEIRD.
- The thing is, this is the busiest I’ve been in MONTHS. As crazy as things are, I’m loving every minute, and it makes for a great distraction. I only find myself getting a case of the baby-crazies about once a day, which is NOTHING compared to a few weeks ago. There’s apparently something to this busy thing. I think I’m gonna keep going at it. Having a life – it’s not just for fertiles anymore!
- Shmerson and I went in for karyotyping today. It will take a couple of months before we actually get results, but I’m happy we have one more test under our belt.