Tag Archives: Holidays

Bullets and Bunnies – Appropriate for the Holidays Edition

9 Apr
  • Haven’t done one of these in a while (and boy have things changed since the last one). I figured I was overdue for one, it being Easter and all. Even though I’m Jewish. But still. Plus- my thoughts are way too jumbled to make a full coherent post.
  • Passover was both fun and difficult. Fun because – well – it was fun. Difficult for obvious reasons. The should-have-beens and the could-have-beens haunted both me and Shmerson. I tried not to let it get to me too much, and only partially succeeded.
  • I think the hardest part of the Holiday was how Shmerson and I kept on fantasizing about how it would be when we had kids. It’s frustrating, but inevitable to think that way at this point.
  • With all of that, I’m kind of mad at myself for being so negative. “Could have been” or “may eventually be” isn’t what IS. And I can’t keep on dwelling on the past, or an imaginary future. I’m trying really hard to concentrate on that, but sometimes it’s difficult.
  • I’ve been a crappy commenter lately, and I’m really sorry. I’ve been keeping up with all of you, but I’ve been having a hard time jumping back into the conversation. I feel like I’d be spreading my bad Babyloss mojo on your blogs. I know it’s stupid. It’s just how I feel.
  • I’m also finding myself, for the first time, having a really hard time reading pregnant bloggers. It used to not bother me so much. Now just reading the word “pregnant” sends me spiraling. This is not good, I know. Another thing to work on.
  • Warning: TTC geekery ahead in the next few bullets.
  • AF showed up last week and I was actually relieved considering I was scared that things wouldn’t start up again.
  • Speaking of starting up again, I have another follow-up with The Russian on Wed. I’m less in a state of shock than I was during my first post-loss appointment so I’m going to bombard him with questions and demands requests.
  • I want an HSG to make sure everything healed up ok in there. The last thing we need is more ectopics.
  • I also want to discuss the option of getting an abdominal cerclage. For those of you who don’t know, that’s basically a cerclage that’s placed through abdominal surgery, usually before you even get pregnant. It stays there for life, and it means C-section births only. The success rate on them is really high. Usually from what I’ve read they only do them for women with two failed cerclages, but I don’t want to get that far. I’m hoping The Russian will be on board with this. Anyone out there have one placed? Would love to hear some stories so I have a clearer picture about them (success and failure).
  • I’ve also been thinking a lot about IVF. Technically my diagnosis is “Infertile” according to all of the papers, so my health provider may cover it. My reasoning is that it lowers our chances of ectopics, and, if we do go for it, I’d want to do genetic testing on the embabies so we could make sure we’re transferring healthy ones. Maybe it’s all a step too far though. I don’t know. I’ll ask the Russian what he thinks, and would love to know what you guys think as well. Is this just a random grab at control, or should I seriously consider this?
  • Wow, this is kind of a depressing return to Bullets and Bunnies isn’t it? Ok – how about a joke? Darn it. Can’t think of one. Give me a good one in the comments.
  • I got totally drunk last night for the first time in almost a year. It was fun. I take upsides where I can get them. 🙂
  • I feel fat. And I can’t stop eating chocolate. This does not make for a good combination.
  • More proof that I am a masochist: Grey’s Anatomy. Not going to spoil you guys on a continuing plot line here, but those of you who watch should get why I’m saying this.
  • I put in an order for my Undergrad transcripts. First step in getting the Art Therapy Master’s! Though I really should be  – like – on step five by now.
  • Wow, I’m really having a self-flagellation party today. Awesome sauce.
  • A few of you have mentioned that the blog isn’t showing up on your readers. It may be because of my move to .com, so update your links, and it should be ok.
  • So that was a bit of a bummer post, wasn’t it? Here are TWO bunnies to make up for it. Happy Easter and Happy Passover!

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