Tag Archives: AF

Not All There (Here, Actually)

20 Aug

You know what the problem is with this whole TTC break?

Taking a break does not make the baby-crazies go away (surprising, right? I know, totally.).

In fact, since losing Ole’ Lefty I believe my baby crazies have reached peak levels. We’re talking 9 on the richter scale. Code Red. We’re so high up we need oxygen masks.

You know how sometimes you read IF blogs, and the blogger writes about not being able to look at babies? And you feel for her, you really do, but yet you think to yourself – “eh, that’ll never be me!”

Well, here’s a warning to all you IFers in training. It could very well be you. I too was convinced there would never come a day when I would have serious problems looking at other people’s babies, talking about other people’s babies, or seeing preggo bellies.

Now I know better.

The last couple of weeks have been crazy on a lot of levels. But the baby crazy has ramped up to levels that I thought were unreachable.

I have now officially done the following (yay! It’s time for a list!)

  1. Avoided going to a birthday party because I knew there would be several preggos there (including the birthday girl), even though I truly love the birthday girl. I just couldn’t bring myself to do it.
  2. Went to a family function where there was a six-month-old in attendance that I didn’t know was coming, and held back tears while watching the rest of my family coo over said six-month-old.
  3. At that same family function, told off two family members for telling me their “oh! I know this couple who went on vacation…” stories. Trying to explain to people that a vacation does not create neon arrows leading a fertilized egg to your uterus is hard work.
  4. Hid a preggo friend on FB. (Ok, she’s an acquaintance, so that’s ok right?)
  5. Had several crying fits that were completely unexplained, except that they immediately followed thoughts about babies, or seeing a really pregnant woman out in public. Or hearing about another person who just gave birth. Ok. I guess they’re not really unexplained.
  6. Playing rounds of “find the infertile” while watching reality TV. Toddlers and Tiaras is an awesome platform for that game, by the way. I highly recommend it for masochists. (Don’t worry! I’m totally gonna post about that one of these days!)
You always think “It’ll never be me.”
Then you find yourself in the middle of AF, sitting in a bathroom stall and blowing your nose while looking down at this month’s proof that once again, nine months from now, you will not be a mommy.
Over the last few weeks, I’ve been told by a bunch of different people how great a mom I would be. I know! Right? Maybe we should do something about it?
Alas – not yet. Shmerson and I have set some strict ground rules. Sanity, stability, and a second (or is it third at this point?) opinion from an RPL specialist before jumping back in.
I think I’m on the losing side of the sanity part of that checklist. I’m currently a few fries short of a happy meal.
Off my rocker.
A beer short of a six pack.
Nuttier than squirrel poo.
I’m going slightly mad.
I’m really ok though. I swear. (Shmerson, pay no attention to the baby crazy woman behind the curtain!)

Waiting for the Inevitable Night of Hell

17 Aug

Sorry I’ve been MIA for a while. It’s been a crazy week, and I’m suffering from a serious case of writer’s block. Don’t know if they’re related. Hopefully they are because I hate going so long without writing.

So I started spotting this morning, five days late, which I guess is understandable considering the lap. I’ve been teaching tenth graders all week so I’m exhausted, and today my body decided it was time to not like me any more.

Stabby pains every hour or so, a splitting headache, nausea, and so so so tired.

Since spotting started almost 12 hours ago, and Aunt Flo hasn’t gone full-on commando yet, I’m assuming the stabby pains are just a preview of the lovely day or two I have ahead of me.

I’m not looking forward to this, if the sporadic stabby pains are any indication of things to come.

I think I will get my behind to bed. But after some ice cream. It feels called for.

So does this bunny:

Wish me luck! Hopefully Aunt Flo will clean out not only my uterine lining, but my writer’s block. (Wow, did that come out gross? Sorry. Me incoherent.)

The Limbo Rock

4 Jun


You want AF to come quick

You’re sick of peeing on a stick

All Infertiles on the block

Hey let’s do the Limbo Rock!

It was a staple at every Bar and Bat Mitzvah I attended as a kid. A broomstick would get whipped out and fun was had.

Whoever called that game “Limbo” had a sick sense of humor.

Limbo sucks.

Limbo makes me spend two days straight ignoring the piles of work I have to do. Instead, I find myself googling. A lot.

I find myself saying “what if”. A lot.

Screw you Chubby Checker and your sick sick game.

The AF Betting Pool (With Prizes!)

2 Jun

Ok folks. Aunt Flo has officially decided to be a bitch. Every iphone app and calculation has indicated that she should have arrived sometime today. So far, no sign. No sign of my body gearing up for her either.

So – I’ve decided that instead of torturing myself, I would make this into a fun game for you guys! With prizes!

We IFers love analyzing these things! So away we go!

Here’s how this will work:

I will give you the ins and outs of my cycle.

You will post an educated guess in the comments as to when you think AF will show up.

In order to keep it fair and ensure only one winner, your guess has to be in a 6 hour range. For example, your guess should look something like this: Friday Morning, June 3rd, some time between 10am and 4pm. Keep in mind this is MY local time. I’m currently writing this at 11:30pm on Thursday night. That’s 7 hours ahead of NY, 10 hours ahead of LA, etc.

You cannot repeat a guess that someone has already posted.

Now – for the fun part! The prize!

Whoever gets it right will receive a yummy package of Israeli chocolate. And trust me, Israeli chocolate is amazing.

For my Israeli readers – have no fear! you can participate too! If you win, I’ll take you out for some chocolate cake!

So here are the stats along with all the down and dirty details:

My post- miscarriage betas were down to 4 on May 3rd. I’m assuming they zeroed out about 24 hours later.

On May 2nd, something that looked and felt like AF came, and stayed for 4 days, so I assume that’s when my uterus realized I was no longer preggo.

Positive OPK showed up on May 22nd. I usually ovulate around CD 18-20, and my cycles are between 28-30 days long. They have never been longer. Usually they’re 29 days on the dot. (or they have been since the first pregnancy last year).

BDing was done, but at 4DPO with protection. (yes, “you’re preggo” is a legitimate guess as well, though I assume it will put you at a lower chance of winning the prize).

OK all! Have at it! I will update this post with a winner as soon as the bitch shows up! (yes, I have ceased to play nice). Don’t worry, if you win, I’ll also email you, so you don’t have to keep checking this page.

Have fun!

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