Am I Really Writing This?

19 Apr

NO I’M NOT PREGNANT

In the name of all that is holy pasta, I can’t believe I’m here right now.

Don’t know what to do except to come right out and say it.

NO I’M NOT PREGNANT CALM DOWN

This month officially marked 6 months since we started trying.

So off to the doctor I went.

And now I’m doing monitoring. As in dates with Ole’ Wandy and blood tests. Every day. Until a trigger shot.

And I’ve been miserable for weeks now because I saw it coming.

So yeah – that’s happening.

Damn it.

I’m starting to fully feel the effects of knowing too much. If this doesn’t happen, then the pharmaceuticals get pulled out. Then all of those stupid acronyms.

And if it works…

Well – then that just means a whole new round of torture and waiting.

Fuck.

So I’m not sure this means I’ll be blogging. I’m honestly not sure I want to blog through this. We’ll see.

Regardless: If I use a single acronym in any posts in the near future, may the flying spaghetti monster pelt me with week-old meatballs.

 

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8 Responses to “Am I Really Writing This?”

  1. April April 19, 2016 at 01:23 #

    You knew what conclusion I’d leap to with that title. But hey, good luck. Really.

  2. nonsequiturchica April 19, 2016 at 16:19 #

    I had the same reaction as April- if she is actually writing a post, then she must be, right? Good luck- we are rooting for you!

  3. Daryl April 19, 2016 at 21:12 #

    Aw, crap. I hope things don’t escalate and all you need is a well-timed trigger. Either way, good luck, lady!

  4. Baby crazy April 19, 2016 at 21:24 #

    Wishing you all the luck in the world. On the other size of the world I’ll think positively for you. Surely you’ve had your quota of bad things happen and now all you’re due is good news.
    Thanks from the bottom of my heart for your support during the loss of our Paige. Xxxxx It means a lot to have complete strangers off there support.

  5. Mrs T April 19, 2016 at 22:24 #

    You are braver than I, my friend. Just the thought of peeing on things *shudder*. Good luck!

  6. notundecided April 20, 2016 at 15:20 #

    I had to wait a few days to gather my lady-meatball fortitude enough to click and read – assumed it was gonna be OMG BFP, and I’m so sorry it’s not and going this path instead. The fear is real, and the waiting and torture and acronyms are pure awfulness, but you’re so brave for proceeding in spite of all the over-knowing. Just like depression lies, anxiety’s an asshole for saying all the things you know aren’t actually worth worrying over – can’t really shut it up, usually, and yet you carry on – calm or not. ❤ I hope it's all relatively simple from here! Big hugs and hoping for happy (and yet terrified, because let's be real) news from you super soon.

  7. jjiraffe April 21, 2016 at 05:26 #

    I’m bummed you’re in this situation, but glad you have this place (blog, rather) to write if you want to, need to or don’t need to. Regardless, your many fans are rooting for you, and understand why you feel this way. Sending hugs across the Atlantic.

  8. Lisa @ hapahopes April 23, 2016 at 00:12 #

    Hopping back on the horse is it’s own kind of hell. Rooting for you! Hang in there!

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