He was born and died on a Tuesday
But after a while, I realized that I couldn’t hate all Tuesdays.
He was born and died on the 21st.
But after a while, I realized that I couldn’t hate all of the 21sts.
He was born and died in February.
I still hate all of February.
Last year, on February 21st, we planted an almond tree, and I went in to get my cerclage to keep Bunny safe inside me. The end of one year marked the beginning of a new journey.
This year, on February 21st, we’ll be spending the day looking for a new home for us, so we don’t have to commute so much. So we can truly have the time to enjoy our family. Another new journey begins.
Two years ago, on February 21st, my son died and was born. I guess that too was the beginning of a journey.
I hope every February 21st will be able to mark beginnings and not ends.
Tomorrow will be sad, tomorrow will be happy, tomorrow will be hard. Tomorrow will be mostly about looking forward, not looking back.
So today I want to look back. But not flash back. Look back, with hindsight, with insight.
Look back and thank my son.
Thank you Nadav for teaching me about bravery.
Thank you Nadav for making your parents’ marriage stronger.
Thank you Nadav, for teaching me that I can overcome anything.
Thank you Nadav, for giving me perspective, and making things that once seemed insurmountable now seem trivial.
Thank you Nadav, for setting up the chain of events that eventually led us to your amazing little sister.
Thank you Nadav, for teaching me what it truly means to be a parent. For making me a better parent to her.
Thank you Nadav, for making me take a moment to appreciate every coo, every smile, and yes, even every cry from her.
I think that one day, when she is old enough to understand, when she is old enough to learn about her big brother, she will thank you too.
Thank you Nadav for visiting us and giving us these gifts. I just wish you could have stayed longer.
***
Tomorrow, please look at the sky, or a pretty flower, or your spouse, or your children, and think of my son. If only just for a moment.
Because he deserves to be remembered.
I would give him more than that if I could.
Oh Mo how has it been 2 years already?
I am thinking of you and your sweet Nadav, who we will never forget. Missing him with you.
“Tomorrow, please look at the sky, or a pretty flower, or your spouse, or your children, and think of my son. If only just for a moment.
Because he deserves to be remembered.”
Tomorrow is special for me as it is also the birthday of my first born. I had not known that Nadav shared this day, one special day, with my son. But when I look at him tomorrow, I will remember your son.
((Hugs))
For almost two years, I haven’t heard Twinkle without thinking of you and Nadav. Much love to you as you look forward and back.
Will be thinking of you and Nadav tomorrow. You’re a very brave woman and an inspiration to me.
((Hugs)).
((Hugs)).
Oh Mo, what a lovely post, made me teary and smile at the same time. I will definately be thinking of you and Nadav tomarow.
Will be thinking of you tomorrow xxx
Thinking of you, Mo. Happy Birthday, sweet Nadav. You mattered and you still matter so much. You were here and you are remembered. I hate February and March, too, and when I think back to February and March 2012, I will always think back to the darkest period of my life. There was so much cruelty and sorrow during those 2 months. So happy and amazed we both brought home living children this year, but February and March still hurt so deeply.
Chills. You’ve come so far Mo, I can’t believe it has already been 2 years. Sweet Nadav will always be remembered and missed. After all, Bunny will need to know all about her big brother. Much love being sent to you my friend!
Feb / march 2012 was a horrible period in blog land. Always thinking of your sweet boy. Always. A very close friend of ours just lost her baby at 14w it was the empathy and care you showed me many moons ago that let’s me comfort her now xxxx
Two years. Two years? It seems so recent, yet so far away. I think of you and Nadav this month every year. I think of you with love, sadness, and hope. You have preserved, Mo. I’m so proud of you for that. I am sure Nadav is too.
He will never be forgotten. B and I speak of him quite often, whenever I tell him that you’ve posted. He says, “Nadav’s mom, right?”. Right. 🙂
Love you, friend!
Persevered, nor preserved. Geesh!
Thinking of you and Nadav. Big hugs.
Beautiful post that moved me to tears. Thinking of you and your Nadav.
Thinking of you and Nadav today. I can’t believe that it has been two years already.
He is remembered. Always. XO XO
Thinking of your Nadav today. I love this post, everything about it. Our first children really did change us and pushed us to be better, stronger, and more appreciative. I am so happy to see the place you are now in, to see you with Bunny, and to know you are moving forward. I used to think I was leaving them behind, but now I see they are with me – inside me. Your son is remembered and loved.
I came back to listen to Twinkle today. Love ya, Mo.
I remember. What a lovely post about a sad, sad day. Thinking of Nadav and you today.
I think of Nadav often, and especially today.
What a lovely post, full of grace.
Wishing you and your family love, today and always.
Xoxo
Hey ladies,
I just really wanted to thank you for your love and support. Each one of your comments was like a tiny virtual hug.
Thank you, truly.
I think of your son all the time. AND I think of your words to me after what happened with Hunter all the time too…you have helped me tremendously….
Much love to you…
What a gorgeous reflection on your beautiful son. xo
I have been thinking of you and sweet Nadav. February is a tough month, it will always be. Best of luck with finding a new place, new beginnings are healing in themselves. It can never be a replacement or make the pain go away though. Sending hugs.