Bullets on Bunny (see what I did there?): Holy Day Care Shortage Batman! Edition

21 Jan
  • Seriously guys – I have NO TIME. I’m really sorry for the disappearing act. I just got hired as a full-time employee rather than an outside contractor by the company I’ve been working for for the past year (yay!), and it’s awesome – but it’s not doing wonders for my work load, to say the least.
  • Which brings me to day care. Holy crap. Seriously. First of all, practically every place we’ve contacted doesn’t have any openings until September (!) which is of no help at all, considering there’s a slight chance we may not even be living here anymore in September. We’ve found ONE place that we visited on Friday, but I admit I’m having a bit of a freak out over it. How will I know if something there isn’t right? How will I know she’s being taken care of properly? Is it even possible for me to like anything that involves me not being with Bunny 24/7? We’re not planning on starting until March. But still – OMG this is too soon. We’re only going to do half days for now but I still am having a really hard time wrapping my head around it.
  • Plus – this shit’s expensive! So now I’m going to feel all sorts of pressure to “justify” the expense. I admit, it feels weird sending Bunny to day care when I work at home three days a week. I also know that it’s the best solution for my sanity. I need those few hours to GET SHIT DONE. I need a haircut. I need new glasses. We need to find a new apartment closer to work. And most importantly – I need to not be working until 1-2am every night.  It’s just hard no matter which way I look at it. The only upside is that I still have a month and a half to process it all. That is – assuming we actually decide this is the right place for Bunny. If that doesn’t happen – then we’re totally screwed. At least in the short term until we move. If we ever find the time to find a new place. Sigh.
  • I admit, I’ve been having a shitty week. One of Shmerson’s Twitter followers is in the process of losing her twins at 22 weeks. She reached out and I’ve been doing my best to support her, and I’m REALLY glad I can be there for her. Being able to help like this gives losing Nadav some meaning. But it’s making me think about him. A lot. Exactly a month from today will be two years. In a lot of ways it still feels so raw. This week he’s especially at the forefront of my thoughts.
  • On top of that, Bunny’s having a bit of a tough time. Some digestive issues (no poop talk, I promise), and I think her first tooth may be coming in because she’s been visibly in pain. I hate seeing that so much. I feel so helpless sometimes when I don’t know how to help her.
  • All of this is making me even more sleep deprived, which I think is kind of amplifying it all.
  • Ok, I didn’t mean to get whiny. Generally things are AMAZING. The new job has given me a real sense of stability after being a freelancer for so long, and I have this amazing little person in my life who makes me endlessly happy. We just need to take some steps to lighten the load on me a bit. We’ll get there in the end. Things are never perfect. But if there’s one thing I’ve learned is that everything is temporary – both good and bad.
  • So I’ll try to spend this week focusing on the good. (And attempting to ignore the copious amounts of caffeine I’ve been consuming. )
  • And enjoying every moment of my amazing little girl.


Hope all of you out there in bloggy-land are doing well! How are you all? Tell me in the comments!


17 Responses to “Bullets on Bunny (see what I did there?): Holy Day Care Shortage Batman! Edition”

  1. missconception January 22, 2014 at 01:45 #

    I hear you about having no time for anything. I often think about getting child care for half a day on Wednesday my one day off, just so that I can get some things done around the house and make appointments for myself. It’s really hard for me to justify doing this financially but for someone that works from home as you do, I can see needing that time.
    It will be hard to leave bunny at first, but I promise it will get easier and you will feel so much better knowing you are able to accomplish all the things stressing you out.

  2. Courtney January 22, 2014 at 03:20 #

    Look at her gorgeous hair! It is thick!

    Oh, Mo…. Daycare. Such a hard thing… So hard that after 7 weeks, I quit my job. And I LOVED our care providers! It is tough leaving them all day. Is it close enough to home and work that you can visit at lunch time? I did that and it helped. I think the thing with daycare is that you just need to find the one that feels the best to you, and sort of close your eyes and jump in. You will know if something isn’t right, nut I think that if you listen to your gut while picking it out, most likely it will be ok.

    Hugs, hugs, hugs. Hard stuff. And about Nadav – it is wonderful that you can help someone else, but please also protect your heart, and your memories of him. I cannot believe it’s been two years given the amount of changes in your life… But sure it’s felt like a lifetime for you.

    More hugs!

    • Mo January 22, 2014 at 07:41 #

      Thanks hon, back at you.

      The issue is that I work a two hour commute away. But I only work at the office two days a week. The place we saw which is our only option is very close to home and I would pick her up by lunch. I liked it well enough, I just hate the thought of leaving her…

      • Courtney January 22, 2014 at 16:06 #

        Yeah… It’s a very hard thing to wrap your head around. Good luck.

  3. Christina January 22, 2014 at 04:32 #

    Daycare is tough stuff! You just have to hope for the best. Em got in to her current day care 2d before I had to return to work. I just went with it, hoping and keeping my fingers crossed. A year and a half later, she loves her teachers, her “classmates”, and the directors. They all know her and us, and it’s a pretty good place. I still hate leaving her, but it makes me enjoy my time with her so much more!

    Bunny is so freaking adorable! Sorry about the teething pain. It’s awful. Half frozen washclothes and even some formula frozen in a nipple or something similarly shaped she can chew and suck on could help.

    • Mo January 22, 2014 at 07:42 #

      Good tip! Thanks!

  4. nickeecoco January 22, 2014 at 04:44 #

    Always good to hear from you! I hope that everything works out for the best with Bunny’s daycare.

    I haven’t been blogging but I am doing well. Just hit 24 weeks in my pregnancy and feeling relatively good.

    • Mo January 22, 2014 at 07:46 #

      Yay! 24 weeks is huge! Congrats!

  5. Esperanza January 22, 2014 at 10:06 #

    Oh Mo. It must be so hard to help someone through a loss. I’m sure you’re doing a fabulous job, but it must be really hard.

    Bunny is soooooo cute, by the way. Seriously, you need to post more pictures.

    I’m doing okay. Getting ready to go back to work (in less than two weeks) actually and feeling totally unprepared. I’m not prepared to leave my son. I’m not prepared to be a teacher again. I’m not prepared to wake up at 5:45am every morning. I’m not prepared for the insanity of a day where I work 80% of my work load in 60% of the time, commute during my lunch hour, and then manage two kids by myself for four hours most nights. It’s going to be rough. And I’m really, REALLY not ready. But I have a feeling you know how I feel. 😉

    Good luck finding a child care that works for you. It will definitely be hard to leave her, especially at first. But you can do it. You really can. Be strong mama. You. Can. Do. This.

    • Mo January 22, 2014 at 10:17 #

      Thanks hon. I totally relate to the back to work crisis. I say live in denial as long as you can! It’ll make for quote the crash when you get back to work, but that’s kind if inevitable anyway 🙂

  6. Heather January 22, 2014 at 13:00 #

    Good luck, I hope you figure out your time issue and daycare too…
    Oh and she is gorgeous!

  7. pjsarecomfyn January 22, 2014 at 14:46 #

    Finding a daycare was super stressful. After visiting one run by Amy whinehouse’s doppelgänger I considered selling organs to stay home…. Unfortunately I don’t have enough spare organs to make it a long term possibility. We did eventually find the right one and all my fears disappeared. You have a lot on your plate. I can’t imagine trying to work from home and take care of bunny. So the fact that you have done it for this long is amazing to me. It will all come together.

    • Mo January 22, 2014 at 14:55 #

      Thanks hon! I was considering selling a kidney, but we’ll need that for our retirement. I’m hoping for the best. Luckily, no late druggie popster doppelgängers wherein sight during our visit

  8. Donna January 22, 2014 at 16:54 #

    Daycare is so hard at first. I had the hardest time leaving my first baby. I was miserable for months. I was really trying to figure out how to stop work and stay at home with him. He was just a naturally fussy little man and I just knew no one could care for him like I could. But by 6 months he was totally adjusted and happy and loved his teachers and I finally started feeling somewhat at peace. (He started daycare at 3 months-looking back, I can’t believe that time was only 3 months!). Now I truly have no regrets about having to leave him. I don’t think I could have been a SAHM, so I know it turned out for the best. Even with my second, when I knew all her teachers from the beginning and was completely comfortable with her daycare, I had a horrible month before and after starting daycare. I really started thinking I had PPD it was so hard. But I think the adjustment is just so stressful and thinking of leaving them is so difficult that it brings on really powerful feelings. But after about a month, I was pretty at peace again. But I just wanted to prepare you that it might really bring on some depression and you might want to be aware that it could be a huge trigger. My worst time was actually the month before I had to leave her. But I do think that’s probably a pretty normal reaction and will hopefully pass once things have settled down a little bit. It’s amazing how powerful our Momma-bear feelings can be!

    • Mo January 22, 2014 at 17:00 #

      Thanks so much for the head’s up Donna! I think that totally explains my hellish mood the last couple of weeks. I’ll make sure to be vigilant and monitor my moods.

  9. Yael January 24, 2014 at 09:46 #

    She’s so cute!
    Yes, daycare here is crazy expensive. Especially in relation to our salaries…It gets better when they over 3 and gan is free.

    Curious where you work – my dh also only goes in 2x a week…Is the office in Tel Aviv? PM with the name —I’m curious if it’s the same one..

  10. April January 25, 2014 at 01:31 #

    Your little Bunny is so adorable! I wish I could give you some tidbits on daycare, but it’s hard to weigh in when it’s so different for us–we don’t even know who Abby’s provider is when her mama’s working. It’s hard no matter how you slice it, but I know you’ll get through it.

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