Mother’s Intuition My Ass

4 Nov

So Bunny’s doctor decided to let us try a new formula, this time lactose free for sensitive stomachs, until we get in to see a gastro specialist next week. Mind you, this is the fifth one we’ve tried.
So we try it. 4 feedings now and each one has been a battle. She screams and chokes and cries until I coax the contents of the bottle in. She hates it and it’s obviously not helping her reflux, but things are “flowing” again, and her tummy seems to hurt less.
Of course today is the pediatrician’s day off, so calling him is not an option.
So what the eff am I supposed to do now? Go back to the old formula that she ate like a champ but clogged up the pipes, or stick with the new one which is a nightmare to get her to eat, and makes her gag, but at least she’s digesting it well?
Everybody keeps on telling me that I’m her mother and I know best. How the eff am I supposed to know what to do in this situation?
Go one way and she suffers.
Go the other and she suffers, only differently.

And of course because I can’t make a decision, and because I’m giving her formula in the first place and not breastfeeding I feel like a crappy mom.

Apparently my maternal instincts either suck, or maybe, just maybe, I’m not a freaking doctor so how the eff am I supposed to know what to do?

Urgh. Just… Urgh.

26 Responses to “Mother’s Intuition My Ass”

  1. Flowergirl (@Flowergirl_15) November 4, 2013 at 16:17 #

    Ugh, no idea, no help whatsoever. struggle through til tomorrow then get on the phone? No one else medically you can call? what’s colic, is it that?

    My friend told me her baby was lactose intolerant, which meant there were about 30 nappies a day through diahoria. Which they didn’t know that babies weren’t supposed to do that many a day, and so didn’t get any help for it.

    I would say your mother instinct very good, as you are obv very in tune to getting her all better and a happy smiley baby again. As to a solution, it probably is trial and error unfortunately.

  2. Courtney November 4, 2013 at 16:28 #

    I’m going to go with, you’re not a doctor. 😉

    The feeding thing is rough, no matter how you feed them. Bryson’s first 6 weeks were full of nothing but gas. I think it’s impossible to know what to do – someone nerds to tell you. I needed a doctor’s help, and it was just painful gas. Reflux and constipation are not easy to tackle.
    This is going to sound ridiculous, but have you tried prune juice? Our ped says it’s ok for little babies. Don’t you wish you could just give her some milk of mag and be done? 😉

    • Mo November 4, 2013 at 16:33 #

      That would be awesome.
      I did finally get a hold of a doctor and apparently gagging wins over constipation, so new formula it is! I hate this so effing much.

      • Courtney November 4, 2013 at 17:06 #

        Well shoot! Force feeding is soooooo hard. Hang in there!

        • Mo November 4, 2013 at 18:12 #

          Thanks hon

  3. psychsarah November 4, 2013 at 16:50 #

    Sorry to hear it’s such a struggle. I hope you are able to find something that works for you and Bunny ASAP. I think the pressure of “mother’s intuition” is unfair in these situations-they don’t come with manuals right? If I had better intuition, perhaps my son wouldn’t have screamed his head off for hours each night until my friend sent us to her osteopath for treatment who fixed him right up).. Yeah right. I didn’t even really know what osteopaths did and how they could help. How does one “intuit” stuff like that? Newborns are uninuitable (I know that’s not a word). You just muddle through the tough stuff until something works and then enjoy each small victory. The good news is, almost everything a newborn does is transient. The bad news is, it sure as hell doesn’t feel like that when you and your baby are having a rough time. Take care-thinking of you!

    • Mo November 4, 2013 at 18:11 #

      Thank you for this Sarah, I needed to hear a lot of it!

  4. Mrs T November 4, 2013 at 17:13 #

    You’re damned right about mother’s intuition. Sometimes we’re inclined to do the exact opposite of the best thing — sleep training comes to mind. That was not AT ALL intuitive to me.

  5. Mrs T November 4, 2013 at 17:14 #

    (Oops, I hit post too early.) I hope your little bunny’s pain subsides soon. Poor thing.

  6. Suz November 4, 2013 at 17:19 #

    Ugh. I’m sorry you’re going through this with Bunny. I’m having a similar problem with mine right now. It’s not fair that their little bodies should have pain like this.

    A friend of mine whose three boys all went through reflux, gas, & pooping issues told me that the upside of all this unpleasantness is they’ll grow out of it soon, and they won’t remember any of it. This was the kindest thing she could have told me and it made me feel better. I hope it helps you too.

    You’re a good Mom. Hang in there. This totally sucks right now. Bunny won’t remember this suffering when she’s older but she’ll know that you loved her through it.

  7. Connie November 4, 2013 at 17:22 #

    I know how much unsolicited advice is looked down on… but how about an “old-wives” tale solution that worked for me and many others as a remedy for constipation. A pediatrician would probably spaz out, but … it works. 1 teaspoon white Karo syrup for 4 ounces milk. Make sure it dissolves. You are probably sick to death of advice, so I apologize in advance, but poor little baby needs some relief !

  8. Suz November 4, 2013 at 17:25 #

    Also: Ohh Emm Gee! Bunny is so cute!! She has a TON of hair!!

    • Mo November 4, 2013 at 18:09 #


  9. Amy November 4, 2013 at 17:59 #

    Ugh, it’s so hard! I think we tried six or seven different formulas before settling on the (expensive as hell) one we use now (which only comes on one-pound cans, so we blaze through one every 4 days = $200+ on formula per month!).

    I forget, but does she have an upper lip tie and/or tongue tie? Both can cause the symptoms you describe, along with nursing pain/clogged ducts/mastitis, etc.

    • Mo November 4, 2013 at 18:09 #

      When we were still attempting the Bo.ob there was a suspicion that she may have a partial tongue tie but I never followed up because I didn’t think it was relevant to bottle feeding. We’ll see what the gastro specialist says next week…

  10. Newmom November 4, 2013 at 18:50 #

    My son had reflux so bad. He would be miserable during and after feedings too. Which meant I felt miserable and sad and guilty too. I know exactly how you must feel!! Every sensitive formula is a little different and we actually found that the store brand worked the best for him (go figure). Good news is once it was time to start solid foods gradually the reflux went away…and now that he is 15 months it’s totally gone. I would say you don’t always have to just do what the Dr. says… they can be wrong too! Plus you are with your baby all day, not them. Maybe the second Dr will have different.more advice. Don’t feel guilty about the bo.ob..if it is lactose intolerance breast milk has lactose in it too!

    PS We tried reflux meds…but it was so bitter he refused to take it. Our pharmacy wouldn’t flavor it..if yours does make sure to ask!

  11. Trisha November 4, 2013 at 19:10 #

    Do NOT feel bad! You are doing everything you can for your little girl including giving her formula. People always harp on how breastfeeding is best and I call bullshit. You did what you needed to do and there is nothing wrong with that.

    The reflux thing, well it just happens. My Muppet has it as well although hers is under control at the moment. I think I would honestly give her the formula that she eats better and then call the doctor first thing tomorrow. But that is just my opinion.

    What meds for the reflux have you guys tried? I know how hard, frustrating, and scary it is. I hope things turn around for you two quickly!

    • Mo November 4, 2013 at 19:13 #

      Thanks hon. No meds, the pediatrician preferred to stick with the formula because it was just “suspected” reflux since no puking was involved. Can’t wait to see that specialist.

      • Trisha November 6, 2013 at 18:59 #

        Well good luck honey, keep us updated. If you need any help please let me know!

        • Mo November 6, 2013 at 19:07 #


  12. Casie November 4, 2013 at 19:45 #

    I would switch back to the formula she likes and give her 1oz apple juice once or twice a day. Don’t water it down. If things get clogged it’s great way to get things moving again. Apples are a natural laxative. Hope that helps. 🙂

  13. pjsarecomfyn November 5, 2013 at 00:49 #

    Dude I have no idea….can you mix formulas and achieve some sort of fantastic middle ground? I assume you can mix formulas in the first place….but I don’t know. All I know is you are doing the same thing the rest of us would be doing in your position. So give yourself a break for not having the answer.

  14. Angel November 5, 2013 at 04:46 #

    Try to ease her into the new formula. Mix it half and half for a day or two, then go to a quarter old formula for a couple days. That way she gets used to the new taste and will be more likely to accept it.

    Our daughter spits out all new flavors at first- violently.

  15. chon November 5, 2013 at 06:33 #

    We had to go with goats milk formula for Molly. The normal stuff was ok when it was once a day but when I went back to work and she was having it more she got seriously wheezy and had bright green poos! She loved the formula and now has goats milk and no dairy. Not sure if that would work??

  16. Cindy November 5, 2013 at 20:59 #

    Hi Mo! Another old wives tale here in South Africa! Moms swear by it….so I googled! Apparently Australians know this as well hope it helps, the cornflour thing! Good luck and may lil Bunny get well soon xx

  17. broedkipje November 6, 2013 at 16:52 #

    Blahblah intuition. They say mothers can recognize what a baby wants by the type of crying. Well, I don’t. How are you supposed to know? It’s not like we get a magic pill after giving birth. Just try different things and if you’re lucky, one thing is right. I’m improvising for 8 months now and both my babies are still alive and (they seem) happy enough.

    Just love Bunny and pester docs till you have an answer that satisfies you (somewhat).

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