Bullets and Bunnies: Stitchy Edition

• We had a check up with the high-risk OB today (36 weeks, 2 days). B5’s tummy is measuring about 10 days behind but her head is right on track. The doc didn’t seem concerned about it, so I’m not going to be either. She’s gained about 300 grams in two weeks, and is now estimated at around 2.5 kg. That’s about 5.5 pounds for you Americans. She also passed her NST with flying colors.

• I got the official referral to Labor & Delivery to get the cerclage out, and that’s happening this Sunday or Monday. Yipes! There’s only about a 5% chance that removal of it will cause labor, but I’m packing the hospital bag this weekend just in case. I’m also trying not to get my hopes up. It’s still a little early, and she’ll come out when she’s good and ready. So they say. So I keep trying to tell myself.

• B5 is getting crowded in there.  A couple of days ago she pulled some ninja moves that hurt like a mofo. I told her sternly that I’m very happy that she’s so active, but would she please just come out already so I can see the ninja moves rather than feel them?

• I seriously need this baby out already. I know we’re still kind of at the point where she’s most likely to do better inside then out, but the anxiety is killing me. I’m constantly obsessing, fretting, and worrying about what’s to come. I need her to be here, and be ok.  I’m practically full term, that should be enough. I need to see her, living and breathing in front of me.

• Just so you understand how deep the crazy goes: The doc gives me the L&D referral to get the cerclage out. He says I could go anytime between now and whenever, really (which is actually encouraging and I guess means he’s fairly confident that she’s fully cooked).  You don’t need to make an appointment for a cerclage removal here, you just go into L&D in the morning with a referral and they get ‘er done. So I talked it over with Shmerson and we decided Sunday or Monday, depending on what’s going on with his work. Then I looked at the referral again and noticed the words “good for 24 hours” on it  (it’s an automatic thing with L&D referrals). And the referral has today’s date. So I go back into the doc’s office and point this out. He crosses out today’s date, puts in Sunday’s, and signs the paper where he changed it.  I leave the clinic, and then spend the next HOUR AND A HALF literally obsessed with worry that L&D won’t admit me because of a bad referral. I mean what if I come in and they don’t approve of the handwritten change? What if that’s ok, but we come in Monday and the referral is dated Sunday? Will they count that as 24 hours or will the date change screw it up? I finally CALL the hospital, describe the referral in detail, tell them when I’m thinking of coming in, and check whether they will accept it. Of course they said they would. I spent an hour and a half worried sick about it. Honestly, I’m still a little worried about it. Even though I’ve been told explicitly that it’s ok. Moral of the story: I literally cannot fathom things actually going right. They have gone wrong for so long that it’s much easier for me to just think that they will continue to go wrong. Even when I am told “this isn’t a problem”, I’m still afraid it will be a problem. This is not a good way to live through these next couple of weeks. My head is not a fun place to be, I assure you.

• My belly button is in danger of becoming an outie. It’s getting very squished at this point. So Shmerson and I have given it a voice with which we dub it often, and decided that it is the perfect way to channel my feelings. An emoji emoticon has been chosen to properly represent the belly button’s constant sense of disdain toward the world. The Hebrew word for belly button is “poopik”. I have been texting  Shmerson regular updates during the day on Poopik’s emotional state.  “Poopik is worried”, “Poopik is bored”, and so forth. Today, Poopik has fluctuated between freaking out and proclaiming that “Poopik is not amused.” Which of course, it never is. It’s part of what makes Poopik Poopik.

• That last paragraph made me realize just how far gone I really am. Poopik concurs, in case you were curious.

• Ok, so a few of you guys have requested a bump pic. Since I’m fairly huge, I thought it was time I gave in and actually had Shmerson take a couple, as much as I hate getting my picture taken.  And posting a bump pic is still on my “stuff that freaks me out” list. But with the exception of this, I have not had one picture taken of myself this pregnancy, so I figured I should at least have a few, right? So here ya go (and yes I am wearing the same shirt as before since it’s practically the only one that fits at this point. Also, note the “I hate having my picture taken” faces I pull. Epic.):

• I leave you all with bunnies and a promise to update once the stitch is removed. Poopik has spoken. Poopik out!

Tags: cerclage, high risk pregnancy, pregnancy