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The Not-Quite Emergency

30 Jul

Let me start by saying everything is fine.  Now on to the story:

B5 has had a relatively consistent movement pattern. Today she decided that patterns are for losers.

I’m used to a nice barrage of kicks in the morning. Today, she barely poked me once when I woke up. Her movement is relatively consistent throughout the day. Today she was quiet.

At first I wasn’t too concerned. I still felt an occasional jab though they were few and far between. But by the afternoon I was anxious to the point of distraction. I wasn’t getting any work done. I was staring at the computer screen, not able to concentrate on anything, while at the same time just trying to will B5 to give me a nice big movement like she usually does.

But nothing. It’s not that she wasn’t moving at all – but what I felt was TINY. Comparable to week 16. Not 35 weeks by a long shot. It was like she was barely there.

I did some kick counts and again, she squeaked by. I knew logically that it was enough but it was simply NOT LIKE HER.  By 4pm I whipped out the doppler – something I hadn’t felt the need to do in weeks and weeks. It took me 15 minutes to find her heartbeat, and even then it was only for a few seconds.

By that point I was hysterical.

On one hand, I knew that logically everything is supposedly fine. But having been through worst-case-scenarios before all I could think about was the what-ifs.

Whether something was wrong or not, my PTSD was in full force and I was terrified. I called my health service’s nurse hotline and was very honest about feeling movement, but just LESS.

Because I was high risk, she told me to go to L&D, just in case.

My mom came over to pick me up and Shmerson left work early to meet us there.

Of course the moment I was put on the monitor B5 decided it was time to practice some dance moves. Something I had been longing for all day. I calmed down a bit but was still not convinced that everything was fine.

BTW – it took the nurse a moment or two to get a good hold of B5’s heartbeat as well. Seems like she’s just in an awkward position.

U/S showed a “perfect” rear placenta, fluid levels normal, and a perfectly healthy B5.

The doctor was very sweet and reassuring. I guess with my history, no one really judges me if I freak out once in a while.

Honestly I don’t regret going to get checked out. Even with the SLIGHTEST chance that something is off,  I know too much about what can go wrong. I’m not taking any chances.

But I think in this home stretch things are really starting to take a toll on my psyche. Between switching meds, being stuck at home all day in the sweltering heat, and my building anxiety over what’s to come I guess I was destined for a meltdown.

T-minus two weeks until the cerclage comes out (as of now we’re back to removal at 37 weeks). Let’s hope I manage to keep my sanity – at least as much of it as I have left.

PS- THANK YOU ALL for your sweet comments on my last post. They made me feel a helluva lot better, and a lot less alone. You guys are the best.

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16 Responses to “The Not-Quite Emergency”

  1. missohkay July 30, 2013 at 23:20 #

    Eek. B5, I hereby command you to stop being scary. Love, your twitter auntie.

  2. Lise July 30, 2013 at 23:30 #

    I did the same thing at about 29 weeks. On christmas day. I felt her but she didn’t dance around like she usually did! My father (my mother had high risk pregnancies so my father is almost a ctg expert, so he was perfect for the job) had to take me to the hospital in the middle of our dinner while my husband took care of our guests. Turned out she was just fine, but just like you I didn’t regret going in at all! And the doctor said the same thing, you should go if things feel different!

  3. pjsarecomfyn July 30, 2013 at 23:39 #

    Pretty much every one of my friends who have been pregnant experience a day like this, or even more than one day. Myself included. My midwife reassured me that the baby just stops moving as much as they run out of room, but it doesn’t stop all the ‘what if’s’ from careening through your head.
    I would have told you to go in and get it checked out too. Better to know for sure that all is well than to worry.

  4. Courtney July 31, 2013 at 00:31 #

    Same thing happened to me – and there is no shame in getting checked (or making a phone call, like I did). We know our babies, and when they don’t act “normal” for them, it is very scary. I’m glad that you got checked, and that B5 is back to her normal, active self!!

    Will you please post another belly shot soon? 🙂

  5. slese1014 July 31, 2013 at 00:38 #

    I nearly had my heart skip a beat when I read the title of this post. I’m so SO grateful everything is ok, but for heaven’s sake B5 don’t scare your mom like that again! Or her readers for that matter LOL. With my daughter, I had an anterior placenta so I rarely felt any movement. This time my placenta is posterior and I feel every little thing. There have been days when movement was decreased and I’d start to panic, but like B5 as soon as I started monitoring movement all of the sudden he’d be all over the place. I’m so glad you got checked out, and I would have done the same thing in your shoes. That’s one good thing about working at a hospital. I have access to these kinds of things a bit easier than others. Take care of you and let the count down to B5 begin 🙂

  6. Esperanza July 31, 2013 at 00:59 #

    My little guy moves around like crazy and there aren’t certain positions that always make him “dance” as you like to say. I would be very concerned and absolutely go in to get checked if something felt off or wrong. I might even lie and say he’d failed the kick count (my guess is I’d need to lie to be seen at by my provider if he was moving but just less). All this is just to say, I think your reaction makes perfect sense and I would have done the same. I hope B5 is done with the shenanigans until she comes out!

  7. Angel July 31, 2013 at 01:08 #

    You are entitled to as many freak outs and trips to the hospital for reassurance as you need. Actually, with all you’ve survived- if you wanted them to send a freaking medical staff HOME with you just in case, that wouldn’t be unreasonable at all. So don’t feel bad. Seriously.

  8. Christina Williams July 31, 2013 at 04:37 #

    Yikes! It is definitely better to be safe and get things checked just in case. The amount of movement felt can depend on their positioning, and like others have said, there is less room in there now. B5- you have to stay put for a few more weeks, so be a good girl and behave for your mom and dad!

  9. Daryl July 31, 2013 at 15:53 #

    So glad everything’s fine. You’re absolutely allowed to freak out and have B5 checked out whenever something feels off. Even it it’s just to be reassured she’s still doing great!

  10. nonsequiturchica July 31, 2013 at 18:36 #

    So glad everything is okay!

  11. fromheretomotherhood July 31, 2013 at 21:42 #

    Always better safe than sorry in my books, so I am glad you got checked out. Reassurance is a good thing and sometimes it is very very needed. You are so close to being ready to greet your little girl face to face and I hope that it can be the positive experience that you very much deserve.

  12. Louisa July 31, 2013 at 22:18 #

    Yes you should go to L and D whenever you want to– I’m very glad they were nice to you. I remember the shear terror of those last weeks–tough stuff even for the most stable. Hang in there!

  13. Theresa August 1, 2013 at 02:24 #

    I did that at about 35 weeks also bc i thought I hadn’t felt baby Boy move. Everything was fine but I don’t regret going for a second!

  14. iamstacey August 5, 2013 at 17:17 #

    I had the same freak-out this weekend! I made it through the first five months without renting a doppler. I finally got to the reassurance of feeling movement, and the kid decides to just chill for a whole night! Scared the crap outta me.

  15. Trish August 8, 2013 at 04:45 #

    So happy everything was OK. Sending lots of good wishes for no more scares. I know you have probably posted it somewhere but what day is B5 due? Thank you for keeping us informed. You give me hope.

    • Mo August 8, 2013 at 09:00 #

      Thanks Trish!
      B5 is officially due sept 3rd, but its still up in the air whether docs will want to keep her in there for that long…

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