10 Jul

We officially own baby stuff.

I mean, most of it isn’t actually in our home. That’s just a rocking chair we bought that they couldn’t keep until the birth. My mom and I both kind of freaked out when we realized we actually had to take that home today.

We just bought and paid for

A stroller

A car seat

A crib

Baby bottles


Baby clothes

Baby blankets

I was hoping to maybe enjoy the experience, but I spent the hour+ shopping spree mostly in shock.

And then had half a panic attack on the way home.

We actually own a car seat. Like – an actual car seat where a baby goes. That’s insane.

Something hit me this week. With all our losses, I don’t think I’ve ever made the connection that a pregnancy is actually supposed to lead to a baby. It’s like I forgot that was even possible.

And that this pregnancy, at 32 weeks,  is now most likely to lead to an actual, real-life baby.

That is freaking terrifying.

Between that and owning a real honest-to-goodness car seat, I just don’t know what to do with myself.

Pardon the repetition:

18 Responses to “Weird”

  1. Melanie July 10, 2013 at 20:29 #

    Yes!!!! SO happy to hear this. I was thinking about you this morning wondering if we’d get an update soon. Not long now. This is the hardest thing you will ever do. It’s cake after this. You got this 🙂 xoxoxo

  2. Courtney July 10, 2013 at 20:42 #

    A real live baby will be in your house in less than 2 months! So exciting! I remember being shocked that we had a real baby in our house. Even B was in shock and said, with tears in his eyes, that, “there’s a real baby in our baby bouncy chair.”


    I am so damned excited for you guys!!!

  3. nonsequiturchica July 10, 2013 at 20:50 #

    Woo hoo!

    I’m behind you (19 weeks), but I have yet to step foot into a baby store or even search on the internet. And childcare? Something that I should be thinking about, but kind of putting off.

    • Mo July 10, 2013 at 20:52 #

      I didn’t go into a store until 28 weeks, so you’re good. And child care isn’t even on my radar! Right now it’s just grandma until further notice.

  4. Louisa July 10, 2013 at 21:00 #

    Oh yeah!!! I know it’s totally scary but so very exciting!! Just reading what you bought makes me smile.

  5. Amy July 10, 2013 at 21:13 #

    I can’t get over how awesome it is that you can pay for the stuff yet not have to look at it in your house until you’re actually ready for it (or need it – “ready” is a whole ‘nother thing, I know). Very proud of you for doing this. As great as it was to have such generosity from our families and friends, looking at all the unorganized mountains of baby stuff did have me pretty much panicking for the last month and a half of my pregnancy. You’ve conquered a huge mental hurdle, with the added bonus of keeping it to reasonable quantities of stuff! Huge high fives!

  6. Wannabemom July 10, 2013 at 21:22 #

    Although several weeks behind you, I know what you mean. With every appt/scan that goes well, I keep thinking, “holy shit, this might actually happen!”. I’m banning myself from buying anything bigger than a onesie until this little fella passes viability.

    Way to go, Mo. You own baby stuff for your real baby!!!!

  7. Karin July 10, 2013 at 21:43 #

    Just breathe… Almost there…. And we will all be here celebrating with you!

  8. pjsarecomfyn July 10, 2013 at 22:04 #

    Sounds like you need to keep going shopping until you get to the excited/having fun point… off you go, back to shopping. 🙂

  9. kerry July 11, 2013 at 00:24 #

    Yay!! Huge step! That is awesome!! SO CLOSE!!

  10. Mrs r July 11, 2013 at 01:22 #

    I totally get that! Like forgetting that a pregnancy can result in a real live baby that you have to bring home and look after. Totally surreal, and hard to explain those feelings to people who havent been there. Youre doing great! But i agree.. Just keep shopping 😉

  11. alissa s July 11, 2013 at 05:15 #

    I am so proud of you! I know how heart stopping it is to make those big purchases. Its acknowledging that you indeed are having a baby. You are only 8 weeks from full term if you consider 40 weeks full term. I had Coop at 37.5 weeks do you could be meeting your babe very soon! The car seat is huge. I found myself in disbelief as I locked that thing in my car for the first time. Just breath and know you are in a good place with this pregnancy.

  12. Esperanza July 11, 2013 at 06:45 #

    What a huge step! So exciting! And I can’t believe you’re already 32 weeks! Amazing!

  13. Ctrl+Alt+Mum July 11, 2013 at 09:21 #

    I know what you mean about wanting to enjoy shopping for baby stuff but being in shock through most of it. I still can’t get used to the fact that our office has been gutted and will soon be a NURSEY (like seriously, WTF!?!) and that people keep sending us baby clothes and toys. It’s beyond surreal!

  14. Lise July 11, 2013 at 09:49 #

    I can relate so much to how you feel…I had to bring home some baby stuff before our daughter was born and I hid it in a closet. The rest of the stuff my husband picked up the day after she was born, when I was still in the hospital. The poor guy had to stuff a stroller, car seat and a million other things in our tiny Citroen C1 (no, getting a bigger car before she was born was out of the question).

    But, even though it’s freaking scary, 32 weeks is fantastic!

  15. psychsarah July 11, 2013 at 15:51 #

    I feel so happy for you that you’re at 32 weeks. And you only had half a panic attack-progress no? When you start using the stuff you bought with B5, it will be such a joyful feeling 🙂

  16. Gina July 11, 2013 at 20:39 #

    You’re so close! I hope you can make the pregnancy –> baby connection in the coming days. Love your bunnies! Much love to you!

  17. Shanlee July 16, 2013 at 07:03 #

    You are on track for a baby. After 3 early losses when I was pregnant with now 14 month old DS I too didn’t believe that it would end in a baby. Then we had a preemie at 29 weeks after my water broke at 27 weeks. The ONLY thing we had at that point was the baby bullet. That was it. So you’re doing awesome on that front. I also advise to get the baby’s room ready. DS was born in May, he finally got a room of his own at the end of October. It’s impossible to do when the baby is here. I had to clear out clothes, university text books, rip out carpet etc.

    So excited to see how far along you are with baby.

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