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It’s in the Stars. The Crazy Stars.

14 Aug

Me: ZOMG!!!!!!!

Me: Oh crap, what now?

Me: Our horoscope!

Me: You mean the Rob Bezsny one?

Me: So you read it!!!!

Me: Um, yeah, we’re the same person, remember?

Me: Right. So why aren’t you screaming like I am?

Me: Because I’m sane.

Me: Allow me to quote.

Me: Please don’t.

Me: Oh just watch me! According to Mr. Brezsny:

It’s quite possible, Libra, that you will benefit from a Hubble-like augmentation of your vision in the next nine months. Right from the beginning, make sure there are no significant defects in the fundamentals of your big expansion.

Right? Right?!?

Me: I don’t get it.

Me: Nine months! Expansion!

Me: Oh, you think this means we’re going to be pregnant this month.

Me: EXACTLY!

Me:  This is the baby psychic all over again. *Rolls Eyes*

Me: No! This is better! He’s syndicated!

Me: It’s random. Do you think it means every Libra will get pregnant this month?

Me: No! Just us! We’re special.

Me: No we’re not.

Me: We’re going to get pregnant! La la la la la la!

Me: I’m going away now.

Me: Screw you. I’m going to enjoy this. YYYYYIIIIIPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!

Me: *Backs away slowly*

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14 Responses to “It’s in the Stars. The Crazy Stars.”

  1. Peaches August 14, 2012 at 23:32 #

    I love the way you wrote this.

  2. Pussy Parent August 14, 2012 at 23:49 #

    I paid a baby psychic too. I hope it’s right!

  3. Rebecca Pallack (@RPallack) August 15, 2012 at 00:01 #

    Well you never know, right? Right?

  4. theyellowblanket August 15, 2012 at 02:00 #

    I may or may not have spent 5 American Dollars on an Internet Psychic who yelled in all caps that I would get A BFP IN APRIL OF 2012 OR CONCEIVE IN APRIL 2012 OR GIVE BIRTH TO A BABY BOY IN APRIL OF 2013. Not. Even. Close. But it was still “fun” and gave me hope for a time in which I needed it. Sooo, you never know! Good luck on your 9 months of expansion! 🙂

  5. Amy August 15, 2012 at 03:07 #

    LOL, I *totally* paid for 2 baby psychic readIngs, and also got 1 free one! They were all BS. I heard rumors later that two of them were the same person. One predicted no kids, one predicted a son followed by a daughter (a couple of years apart), one predicted a son only. The fourth I can’t recall. None of them saw my dead twins coming, and no e predicted a pregnancy or delivery date around my twins (either their Feb. 1 due date or the date I delivered too early). In fact, I was suspicious when I did learn I was carrying twins b/c – gasp – for some stupid reason I actually out stock in what those psychics had to say. Now I’m curious, though…I’ll have to see if this next IVF falls in line with any of their date predictions. 🙂

  6. Kristen G. August 15, 2012 at 04:06 #

    Ha ha ha…love it.
    Soooooo hoping this is your month!
    XO

  7. Kristin August 15, 2012 at 04:41 #

    I hope the crazy you is right and I can celebrate with you.

  8. missohkay August 15, 2012 at 13:52 #

    I hope this psychic is better than the last! And this reminds me of a favorite movie of mine (note that I am a Capricorn)…
    So, you’re astrologers, are you? Well, what is he then?
    Hmm?
    What star sign is he?
    Capricorn.
    Capricorn, eh? What are they like?
    Oh, but He is the son of God, our Messiah. King of the Jews.
    And that’s Capricorn, is it?
    Uh, no, no, no. That’s just Him.
    Oh, I was going to say. Otherwise, there’d be a lot of them.
    -Monty Python, Life of Brian

  9. Anna August 16, 2012 at 01:49 #

    Ha! Love this and I believe I have had very similar conversations with myself.

  10. Emily @ablanket2keep August 16, 2012 at 04:44 #

    This just got me all excited!

  11. nobabyruth August 16, 2012 at 15:01 #

    WTF. Seriously. That’s a sick psychic. Who includes 9 months anywhere and doesn’t immediately assume (and, actually KNOW) that at least half of the population is likely to immediately assume baby?!?! Can you imagine if there are people out there actually avoiding sex this month out of the fear (bahaha) of expanding during the next 9 months?!?

  12. TeeJay August 22, 2012 at 18:12 #

    Just dropping in to say hi and see how you are doing. Hope things are going ok. Miss you!

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

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