In a Ditch

2 Jul

I’m apparently not done wallowing yet.

I don’t remember the last time things were this bad. I’m having a hard time sleeping, concentrating, everything.

Classic signs of depression.

So yeah, nothing new to report here except that AF finally reared her head. Let’s hope the diet is doing it’s job and my body actually regulates itself. I did feel a little better once she came, but just a little.

So yeah – sorry I’ve been MIA guys. Hopefully I’ll snap out of it soon.

Friday I’m headed to the psychiatrist. I think the happy pills stopped working, because I WANT to snap out of it, I just can’t seem to do it.

Or in short – urgh.


18 Responses to “In a Ditch”

  1. Jay July 2, 2012 at 23:20 #

    I’m so sorry Mo. Our brains are chemical soups, and when they get into this state, its tricky to try to figure out the best way to snap them out of it, without the external circumstances that can make us happy coming along. I hope the psychiatrist is helpful, and I also hope so badly that the right circumstances come your way, SOON.

  2. SRB July 2, 2012 at 23:47 #

    Blerg. Depression is SUCH a bitch. I hate her, and I hate that she bullies my friends. Bitch!

    A big hug from me to you, babe. Even if it is one second of lightness. 🙂

  3. Esperanza July 3, 2012 at 00:21 #

    I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I wish I could make it better in some small way.

    Abiding with you.

  4. Jenn July 3, 2012 at 02:12 #

    Sending hugs. I hope your appt friday helps. I’ve been battling it on and off and some days are so rough. Keeping you in my thoughts.

  5. missohkay July 3, 2012 at 03:53 #

    Lots of love to you. Not as good as happy pills, but a close second.

  6. Lala July 3, 2012 at 04:03 #

    I think I’d rather be in pain than depressed. At least with physical pain, you can take something that works fast or push through it… I always felt so hopeless and alone and worthless every time I get depressed and it’s a battle to even care enough to do something about it. Super good that you aren’t so down in it that you know it’s time to do something. Big hugs.

  7. Courtney July 3, 2012 at 04:38 #

    Hang in there. I know this feeling all too well – I spent a lot of time depressed long before TTC and then during that time as well. It’s awful – and I’m sorry you’re going through it. I think it’s good, though, that you recognize it. I was in denial for far too long before realizing I had to help myself by getting on some meds. You’re very brave!!!!

  8. Daryl July 3, 2012 at 04:51 #

    I hope that with the help of your psychiatrist, you can get this figured out. It sucks to want to feel better and just not be able to get there. Sending hugs.

  9. cw July 3, 2012 at 12:04 #

    see this – it’s me throwing you a shovel and helping you out the ditch. It’s ok to have these days, don’t beat yourself up for being normal (well normal with purple hair but whatevs) xxxxx

  10. Serenity July 3, 2012 at 13:43 #

    Grief isn’t something you can just “snap out of.” Unfortunately the only way through it is through it. Hugs and love and tons of good thoughts being sent your way.


  11. Sara July 3, 2012 at 15:25 #

    So sorry, Mo. Depression is an evil bastard. I hope your appointment help.

  12. Trisha July 3, 2012 at 16:09 #

    I’m so sorry you are going through this Mo. Depression is so unfair on top of everything else you are dealing with. I know the feeling for wanting to snap out out of it but not being able to. Sending you lots of hugs!

  13. Alissa July 4, 2012 at 02:36 #

    I’m sorry for how much you’re hurting. These things are so unpredictable. I hope you can find some help through this. Always thinking of you my friend.

  14. lrm1102Leslie July 4, 2012 at 04:32 #

    I am so sorry that you are feeling this way! I can relate very well. I am finding that grief is unpredictable and many things can shake it up even when I find I am feeling ok for a moment or two. I hope that your appt on Friday will help you figure out the best way for you to work through this! Wishing you the best!!

  15. Her Royal Fabulousness July 4, 2012 at 14:58 #

    I am so, so sorry you are feeling so sad. I have struggled with depression my entire life and there is very little that is harder. It just feels like you are trying to dig yourself out of quicksand. I’m always here to talk if you need me.

  16. Stephanie July 4, 2012 at 16:19 #

    😦 ❤ My thoughts (and my emoticons) are with you.

  17. Cristy July 4, 2012 at 21:00 #

    Oh Mo. I’m really sorry. It’s hard to get out of the ditch sometimes, but you’re doing the right things taking care of yourself. I hope the appointment with the psychiatrist goes well and you get what you need. I’m thinking of you and sending hugs.

  18. jjiraffe July 5, 2012 at 07:04 #

    That is the saddest sad kitty I’ve ever seen. I hope you are able to sort out your happy pills ASAP.

    Sending many hugs from way too far away. Boo, longitudes and latitudes.

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