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10 Things I Learned While Staying Overnight at the Hospital

11 Jan
  1. While lately at home my brain has tormented me at night with crazy post-apocalyptic and dystopian dreams, it knows when to give me a break, and at the hospital only brought me mundane dreams of winter wear and people parking crookedly.
  2. Always bring your own white toilet paper. The hospital is environmentally friendly and uses the recycled brownish type. This is no good for a paranoid RPLer, and does not allow proper examination of the exact tinge of anything that comes out of my cootch.
  3. Apparently, I know more about U/S machines than most residents, considering I had to show my intake doc how to use one after she fumbled around for a good 15 minutes.
  4. They don’t give preggos those fun pre-anesthesia happy pills. Darn it.
  5. NEVER go in for surgery constipated. It will make your bowel movements a topic of conversation for far longer than you would like.
  6. It seems hospital food is specifically tailored to be the most unappetizing thing in the world. Even after 16 hours with no food, I opted out of the hospital lunch.
  7. The universe apparently has a sense of humor. 2 hours after being ordered to another week of strict bed rest, I got a call from that high school offering me the teaching job. Ha ha.
  8. The Russian also apparently has a sense of humor. At the U/S before my discharge (he thankfully knew how to work the machine) I asked him what my chances are now of carrying to term. He answered: “Ask me when you’re 38 weeks”
  9. I apparently do not have a sense of humor when I’m smelly, desperate to go home, and on about 4 hours sleep.
  10. A cerclage isn’t really so painful. After about 4 hours and a few pain meds, I was fine and dandy.

So yes, here I am, doing ok. Going a bit stir crazy though. I’m on bed rest until next week, then I can go back to semi-normal, and just take it easy. Oh- and now I’m considered a high-risk pregnancy. Fun times. I really need to find myself a hobby.

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24 Responses to “10 Things I Learned While Staying Overnight at the Hospital”

  1. RelaxedNoMore January 11, 2012 at 13:55 #

    I’m picturing the look on the face of your intake doc, when you showed her how to use the U/S – priceless! Glad everything went well and that you’re back home.
    Isn’t it strange how we sometimes just long to simply stay in bed for a day, or two, or even more – when we should be doing other stuff, like work. And then, when we have to stay in bed for medical reasons, we can’t stand it after about half a day or so.
    Sending you entertaining thoughts! And keep the bedsores away!

    • Mo January 11, 2012 at 15:52 #

      She was mostly just in awe of how the heck I figured it out. I just found it a bit sad that I did. Ahh well.

    • Kathryn January 11, 2012 at 20:47 #

      What an experience! Glad you are okay. Sorry to hear about the bed rest and the high risk stuff 😦
      On a positive note, if you have a laptop, bed rest could mean we get to read lots and lots of posts from you! 🙂

  2. Kristin January 11, 2012 at 14:30 #

    Somehow it never seems to end, does it? Hope the powers that be give you a break and the rest of the pregnancy goes smoothly.

    • Mo January 11, 2012 at 15:52 #

      From your mouth to the Flying Spaghetti monster’s ears! Thanks hon.

  3. Teejay January 11, 2012 at 14:47 #

    I’m glad you are home and that things went as planned. I hope that little stitch gives you many more weeks of pregnant bliss. I’m sorry that you had to have this done and that the universe insists on throwing you curve balls. However, I think you are handling things really well. Hang in there, sweetie.

    • Mo January 11, 2012 at 15:53 #

      Thanks sweetie. xoxo

  4. SRB January 11, 2012 at 15:25 #

    But Mo… high-risk pregnancy IS your hobby. Duh.

    So glad to hear it went well, and WILL go well going forward. I may have been compulsively checking over here to make sure. I kind of love the Russian. I’m so glad he’s awesome, but moreover that he’s so straight to the point.

    Enjoy your bedrest with your boys and your pup!

    • Mo January 11, 2012 at 15:51 #

      Wow that made me laugh my ass off. 🙂 thanks SRB!

      • missohkay January 12, 2012 at 02:27 #

        Ha, that’s what I was going to say about your hobby! Should’ve gotten here earlier. Glad the cerclage placement wasn’t too terrible!

  5. Amy January 11, 2012 at 18:23 #

    Just catching up here – I am so glad to hear you got the cerclage, that they didn’t fuck around. I hope the rest of your time on bedrest is tolerable and goes by quickly! Rooting so hard for you and the Schmaby boy!

  6. EB January 11, 2012 at 18:53 #

    I don’t have anything constructive to add. Just dropping in to check on you and schmaby, and glad that everything is ok for now. Hopefully the number of people sending positive thoughts your way increases your odds for a boring pregnancy from here on out . . .

  7. Rebecca Pallack (@RPallack) January 11, 2012 at 21:00 #

    Hope you aren’t in too much pain. I know that if I get pregnant this IVF, after three miscarriage and high blood pressure to boot, I’ll be on bed rest a lot too. Knitting, crochet, kirigami all help a little but really its more about keeping the mind active. I think you already know this. Maybe you could do some research and write a book on some fun but mundane thing.

  8. Rachel @ Eggs In A Row January 11, 2012 at 21:24 #

    Proof IF preps you for a medical career.

    Love you, love shmaby!

  9. chon January 12, 2012 at 00:16 #

    Oh Mo so glad you have had the op done and fingers crossed all ok. It sounds like (should I say it) Mo is on the up? I don’t know why but I love the Russian. He has a dry sense of humour and I think he would get along well with Dr Cowboy. I can’t believe they offered you the job (actually I can believe it) but it is more that the timing. Bah!!! Hopefully you can have this week off and still take the job. And……(ok this is turning into an essay and I have to stop starting sentences with and) babe you are almost half way. I know – freaky right. Love you lots!

  10. JM January 12, 2012 at 01:14 #

    Oh thank goodness everything went well! So relieved for you. I know it’s crappy circumstance, but I’m glad that it’s been done so you have the best chance of keeping the schmaby in place as long as possible. Happy times!

  11. Infertile Days January 12, 2012 at 04:01 #

    i’m so glad everything went well. that sucks that you are high risk, hang in there, and get lots of rest!

  12. Daryl January 12, 2012 at 04:10 #

    So glad the cerclage went well. Keep that shmaby boy in! As for keeping yourself entertained, sorry I have no suggestions….although I hear the internet is good for a few hours of mindless entertainment.

  13. slcurwin January 12, 2012 at 08:47 #

    You didn’t mention if you accepted in the end or not. You want to tell us that too? And I’d like to appologize on behalf of my fellow surgical health care staff. We can be a bit anal about the bowels. (yep, I’m a knee slapper).

  14. Emily @ablanket2keep January 12, 2012 at 09:35 #

    So glad everything went well. I love the Russian’s response and I believe it will be true. good luck with the bed rest. I hope it doesn’t make you too crazy.

  15. marwil January 12, 2012 at 14:56 #

    Oh, I’m glad all went smoothly. And congrats to the job, I hope it doesn’t stop you from take it if that’s what you want. I just learned to knit and I like it. But reading and watching fun TV-shows/movies to pass time is not too bad either.

  16. Mo January 12, 2012 at 18:11 #

    Thanks everyone. Your support means a lot.

  17. mrs. brightside January 13, 2012 at 02:55 #

    Oh I am dying to know the conversation about being constipated. I have been so backed up since I started the stim meds, and I was starting to have nightmares about my retrieval surgery, like I’m going to wake up and they’re going to tell me “sorry ma’am, we couldn’t get to your ovaries because there was too much poop in the way.” I swear I could see it during the ultrasounds and was so mortified as to what hell would break loose while under anesthesia. 🙂

    I have to back up to say O What the Hell about needing this damn cerclage. Seriously, you’ve overcome so much already without this to worry about. I’m so sorry, but it sounds like you are in good care and taking all the right steps. Stay put, Schmaby!!

  18. Kelly January 13, 2012 at 05:59 #

    Knitting! Have you watched all 5 seasons of 30 Rock? Futurama? Try the BUST DIY Guide to life, there’s tons of fun activities!
    Wow, the food sounds terrible, hope you got some food brought it….
    I’m going for my lap in 6 days – assuming it’s going to be ‘fun’ and getting to hang out in the prettiest Canadian city……also it means Dogs in Bed for recovery..

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