My Womens Studies Professor Would Have a Stroke or Something

29 Dec

So lately I’ve been told a secret by a couple of fertiles: Apparently, it’s ok to have a gender preference, and even voice it. It doesn’t make you a bad person, and lightening apparently will not strike you down.

From what I hear, even if you have a preference, and you end up with what wasn’t your preference, you don’t get disappointed, because finding out the sex of the baby either way makes you feel closer to it.

So – confession time!

Before I reveal the deep dark secret that is my sex preference (gasp!), I do want to clarify some things. I know a lot of couples that opt for not knowing the baby’s sex. I completely understand and respect that decision, but it’s soooo not me. I’m a control freak. You all know this. I can’t not know. It would drive me up the freaking wall.

With our level two scan only 6 (!) days away, I’ve been getting revved up and excited for the possibility of knowing Shmaby’s sex. Not knowing has been quite an inconvenience to tell you the truth. For one – I hate referring to Shmaby as “It” because I doubt the Shmaby looks anything like this:

Although according to some old wive’s tales, that would explain the heartburn.

The other issue is that I spend most of my time speaking Hebrew, and Hebrew, like French, is a gender-specific language. Even the word “baby” is gender-specific. So a male baby would be “tinok” and a female baby would be “tinoket”. So saying “him or her” on a regular basis when referring to Shmaby is getting a bit tedious.

Plus – did I mention that I’m a control freak? Right. So here goes:

I want a girl.

Whew. I said it and didn’t burst into flames. Progress.

Here’s a basic rundown of why I want a girl:

  • As some of you know, my instincts have pretty much all been right so far. Even with the “surprise” ectopic, I knew I was pregnant, and when the pee stick was negative I was annoyed and didn’t get how my instincts were so wrong. Turned out that instinct trumped the pee stick, though I only found that out a few weeks later. This time around, I once again knew it the moment sperm met egg. This time – I told Shmerson: “I’m pregnant, it’s a girl, and everything will be alright this time.” So yeah – it would be nice if my instinct was right once again, and this time with pretty awesome results.
  • For the past two years, when thinking about giving birth to my first baby, I always imagined a girl. All of my baby-related dreams have also been about girls.
  • Shmerson and I have two absolutely amazing girl names picked out, with one being a clear front-runner. We’ve had them picked out since before we were married. With boys, we’re still at a bit of a loss.
  • I want to live vicariously! I know I’m already making my first parenting mistake and I’m barely into my second trimester, but screw it. I want a girl because it means I get to decorate the Shmaby’s room with bright purple sparkly things, and faeries and butterflies. If I could I would decorate my entire house like that, but I live with a guy, so I’ve had to curb my purple and fluttery things obsession. With a baby girl, I can go hog wild on the room and make it look like a giant purple monster puked on it. I’ll save you guys all the gender-stereotyping-is-bad talk. I have a minor in women’s studies. I know I shouldn’t want all of this. Here – I’ll  let Riley explain to you why gender stereotyping is bad so we can all be spared of that debate:          Right on Riley! I’m with you in spirit, really I am. But I’m going for purple, not pink. And a girl’s gotta have a little fun, right? I’m sure you’d agree if you walked into the fab purple faeries and butterflies room I have planned.
  • My mom really wants a granddaughter. Again, it’s not to say that she wouldn’t love a grandson just as much. But in this case I would like to please her.
  • Both the chinese gender prediction calendar and the baby psychic say I’ll be having a girl. So there, nyeh.

I have two naysayers right now. PM, who is convinced I’m going to have a boy and keeps on  texting me asking how her nephew is doing, and Shmerson, who really didn’t have a preference but is now rooting for a boy just so he can stick his tongue out at me and do a little gloating dance.

And now the disclaimer where I say that no matter what the sex I’ll love this baby and I just want it to be healthy, bla bla bla bla.

I will be happy no matter what – you guys know that. But goshdarnit, it would be nice to get that uber-purple room.

We will most likely be wiser on January 4th, when I will post here either humbled and grateful, or humbled, grateful, and gloating while sticking my tongue out at Shmerson and PM and doing the Numfar dance of joy.

14 Responses to “My Womens Studies Professor Would Have a Stroke or Something”

  1. aprilvak December 29, 2011 at 18:24 #

    I can’t help but be amused, as Jan 4 is also the day my brother returns to court for grand theft auto (the real life kind). At least something good is happening that day! I’m sure his will get postponed anyway.

    I don’t see anything wrong with gender preference. I’m sure, whether they admit it to themselves or not, everyone has a preference.

    We always talk about out future embryo as a boy and our future adoptee as a girl. I don’t know if it’s really preference or just a way to identify them easily right now, since they’re both imaginary.

    And if you want purple and faeries, you’ve gotta have em somewhere!!

  2. me0me December 29, 2011 at 18:37 #

    I wish my mom would have decorated my room like you would your daughter’s

  3. MJ December 29, 2011 at 18:40 #

    1/4!! Wow that is so soon! We don’t go in until 1/18. Good for you for finding out. My hubs has put his foot down, saying that he doesn’t want to know. (My very own blog post will be coming …soon … I promise.) Anyways, he’s fine if I find out, but I can’t tell him … and I’m terrible about keeping good surprises a secret.

    Rooting for Shamby to be a shambina. 🙂

  4. Heather December 29, 2011 at 19:41 #

    Ha! I will probably find out one day earlier than you!
    But I look forward to hearing your news. Instinct is normally right. I think I am having a girl too but I could be totally wrong.
    And I love purple too. Although I’m not sure about how I’m going to decorate that room.

  5. Rebecca Pallack (@RPallack) December 29, 2011 at 20:00 #

    I really hope you do get a girl. Purple is a wonderful choice of colors and I have to say I’m wearing it today too. Good luck!

  6. Rachel @ Eggs In A Row December 29, 2011 at 20:15 #

    Whatever it is, let it be healthy. (Smug infertile here). Also, I think whatever your little tinoket is, she/he will be amazing and silly and spend his/her summers in NV with his/her aunty Rachel. (OK, I see what you mean about the gender thing.)

  7. slcurwin December 29, 2011 at 21:30 #

    I’m desparate for a girl for decorating (her room and herself) reasons too. I know I’ll raise me a crazy tomboy that likes sparkles or something.

    And those Pylean dances never get old. 😉

  8. Kristen December 29, 2011 at 21:45 #

    I hope you get your girl! We’ve been shopping for a boy and a girl with twins, and girl stuff is just so much more fun! (Not that I won’t love my boy to death, blah, blah, blah…)

  9. AlexMMR December 29, 2011 at 23:33 #

    I know what you mean. I NEED one of mine to be a girl. In my last pregnancy, I wanted a girl. But after becoming attached to those 2 girls and then losing them, now I NEED one. We had doubts about the gender of one of them so I really only became attached to one girl. Ideally, one of each, but if it’s 2 girls, I’ll be good. If it’s one of each, awesome. If it’s 2 boys, hubby is going to have crying, mourning wife on his hands for a while. I won’t be able to donate my embryos until I get a girl from them. It would kill me to finish my family with all boys, donate my leftover embryos to another couple and have them get my girl.

    I have issues.

  10. Port of Indecision December 30, 2011 at 01:30 #

    Only 6 days till your anatomy scan?? Wow! Does Hebrew not have a default gender? Like in Spanish, I’d call the alien “el bebe” even before I knew it was a boy, because the masculine can mean either/unknown, or it can mean boy. Actually, I hated talking about the alien in Spanish for a long time because I had to call it a him/her – there is no “it” in Spanish. Well, “it” would just be “he”. And I left him as an it for as long as possible, even after we knew he was a boy.

    Gawd that’s a pronoun soup there.

  11. missohkay December 30, 2011 at 02:28 #

    I think you’re having a girl. I’m often right about these things, but not perfect. We shall see! I’ll be on vacation and away from the internets on 1/4, so you’ll have to send me a telepathic message.

  12. Emily @ablanket2keep December 31, 2011 at 00:57 #

    Oh my gosh that is so soon! I can’t wait! I hope you get your girl and I want video of you doing the Numfar dance of joy!!!


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