On Dropping Shoes

21 Nov

Ok – I’ll start by cutting to the chase: The Shmemby is alive and kicking (though I can’t feel that yet of course), and measuring one day ahead. You can see a blurry blobby pic on the Shmembryo page.

It’s been an eventful few days here in Shmerson-land. On Friday I went in to interview for a teaching job at the top private high school in my city. The interview went well, and a couple of hours later they called and asked me to come in to teach a class on Sunday to see how I do.

I spent the weekend prepping the class and feeling incredibly nervous, because I really wanted the job.

Though the class on Sunday was imperfect, it looks like I got the job. Sunday was spent in a haze of running around, and I found myself getting a huge sinus headache. By the time I got home around 9pm I was collapsing. I apparently hadn’t eaten enough, and I brought home dinner and wolfed it down.

5 minutes later, I puked my guts out.

I have been proudly vomit-free since 2003. This broke the streak, and I couldn’t have been happier.

As Shmerson was holding my hair and I crouched over the toilet, we were both doing a bit of a happy dance. This was no longer an abstract sort of pukey feeling. This was true puke. I was elated. I don’t think I’d ever been so happy to see a 15 dollar dinner go to waste in my life.

Though I knew I would be sick today (I already found a substitute for my class), I went to bed happy. Feeling actually pregnant. Thinking everything is finally falling into place.

I spent most of today relaxing, but I  had some brown spotting in the morning. I wasn’t too worried, because I knew we would be seeing the Russian in a few hours.

Then I got a call with yet ANOTHER job offer, which if I get, along with the new teaching job, would put Shmerson and I in the financial stability column for the next few months at least. I was happy.

I’d been emailing back and forth with Chon today. She wished me luck on the scan and I told her that I “don’t want to jinx it but I have a good feeling.”

I took a nap feeling pretty good about things.

15 minutes before we headed out for the Russian’s, I went to the bathroom and saw not brown, but bright orange. Not a lot – but this was not “old blood”. I proceeded to freak out.

I spent the car ride over to the Russian’s office in a haze. I beat myself up over actually daring to feel good for a measly 24 hours. Of course things were going wrong. Of course I can’t have anything go my way. It hasn’t for the last year and a half.

We walked into the Russian’s office and got called in right away. He gave me the sort of eye-roll look all of us paranoids get. But he humored me and told me to jump on the table for my date with the dildo-cam.

I closed my eyes, afraid to look. After a few moments, both Shmerson and the Russian told me to open my eyes.

The Russian said “Everything is ok. You can go home.” He’s ghad a kind smile on his face but I’m pretty sure he’s sick of my antics. Ahh well.

Shmerson had a few tears in his eyes and I asked the Russian for a printout of Shmemby’s latest portrait. It is after all like prozac, despite the blurry blobby-ness.  He humored me and I got one.

I am relieved, of course. I’m sick, I’m exhausted, but I’m feeling pregnant. I have two new jobs hopefully on the horizon. Things are looking up for the first time in over a year. And yet I’m still “afraid to jinx it”.

Why is it that we always wait for the other shoe to drop? Our NT scan is on December 7th, and I’m sure I’ll find plenty more reasons to freak out until then. Because things can’t just go well, right? Is it even possible after 18 months of pure hell for things to actually be looking up?

Here’s to new beginnings, and the hope that this time, the other shoe decides not to drop, because really, isn’t it tired of dropping already? That can wreak havoc on the soles. Just sayin’.

18 Responses to “On Dropping Shoes”

  1. Belle November 21, 2011 at 23:13 #

    Yay! I’m so glad to see another good report! We should all be so lucky as to have a Russian equivalent when we get our BFPs. I do so envy your ability to just “pop in” for a check. 🙂 Take care of that shmembryo and good luck with the jobs!

  2. Tricia November 21, 2011 at 23:19 #

    Oh Mo I am so happy that things are going well. What a great relief! And good luck with the jobs!

  3. Cookie with Milk November 21, 2011 at 23:40 #

    Hurrah for the Shmembryo! Hurrah for new jobs! Hurrah for the Russian! ♥

  4. bodegabliss November 21, 2011 at 23:43 #

    Oooo! Congratulations on everything! Looks like things are turning around. 🙂

  5. Esperanza November 21, 2011 at 23:46 #

    Yay! What fabulous news all around! I’m so glad! Hip, hip hooray!

  6. RelaxedNoMore November 21, 2011 at 23:58 #

    Yay for the Shmembryo! And good luck for the new jobs! Happy hug 🙂

  7. chon November 22, 2011 at 00:35 #

    Orange blood? Congrats on the TWO jobs! That is fantastic news. And the best news, you have a little squirmer kicking goals in there. I am so happy for you. I can’t believed how much stuff happened to you whilst I was sleeping. Isn’t that bizarre 🙂 Big hugs!

  8. Natalie November 22, 2011 at 01:27 #

    It is totally normal to freak the eff out for the first ummmmm 41 weeks or so. 🙂 There are little milestones that help, obvi the pictures are the best, but you never really “relax” so to speak. It is a practiced state of mind…..that takes a lot of effort. Who knew relaxing took effort? You’ll get there though. YAY for the good report.

  9. jjiraffe November 22, 2011 at 01:38 #

    “Vomit-free since 2003.” Hee! Nice Ted Mosby reference 😉

    So glad to hear about the ultrasound! Yay!

  10. eighteenyears November 22, 2011 at 03:14 #

    Great news about the ultrasound… and the vomiting? It’s hard to say good news about vomiting, but I think in this case, we say hurrah!

  11. Kristen November 22, 2011 at 03:26 #

    I’m so happy things are going so well for you on all fronts! 🙂

  12. slcurwin November 22, 2011 at 03:26 #

    You have school on Sundays? What the HELL? lol.

    Congrats on the spewing. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ouDDj6kr1qo

    And what the hell was the orange? Did he have any guesses? Were you wearing orange underwear?

  13. cattiz j November 22, 2011 at 11:41 #

    Things can indeed turn around. Glad to hear everything is alright and congrats on the job offers!!

  14. Rebecca November 22, 2011 at 21:11 #

    Good to know that things are going well for you both. I want to see pictures, please?

  15. Jonelle November 22, 2011 at 21:28 #

    Yay you got to see Shmemby! I’m so excited for you. I can totally understand about the fear of the “other shoe dropping” and the wild thoughts of “why would things start to turn up now”. Because when you have been through so much to kind of don’t expect things to go good and when they do, we start to worry and wonder why and how long it will last. I’m so happy to hear the shoe is staying on firmly.

    “Vomit-free since 2003” had me rolling. I’m a big fan of “How I Met Your Mother”.

  16. Anna November 23, 2011 at 04:49 #

    Sounds like things are going really well. So happy for you!

  17. Port of Indecision November 23, 2011 at 07:28 #

    Yay Shmemby! Yay job!

    That other shoe is gonna dangle there, threatening to fall, for awhile yet, unfortunately.

  18. Emily November 23, 2011 at 18:55 #

    Congratulations and good luck on the job offers! So happy the little one is doing well! Thinking about you often.

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