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A List of Crazy Stuff I’ve Done in the Last Week

3 Nov
  • Pressed my hand against my lower abdomen, until I was convinced I felt a heartbeat, then realized it was my own freaking heartbeat.
  • Spent a good 10 minutes standing in front of a mirror examining my boobs and wondering just how much bigger they are.
  • Asked the Harley Hottie if he could sense a heartbeat using his acupuncture voodoo. Alas, it’s not in his repertoire.
  • Googled “lower abdominal pain in early pregnancy” oh, say, 1000 times or so…
  • Was utterly disappointed each time I felt a bit pukey yet no puke came.
  • Thought to myself that feeling pukey once every other day or so is seriously not pukey enough.
  • Considered dropping 200 bucks to see Dr. Twofer just so he could hit me up with an ultrasound early (what the Russian doesn’t know, won’t hurt him, right? But we can’t afford it so- urgh).
  • Stuck purple sparkly butterfly window stickers on the mirror in the empty room. Jinxing be damned.
  • Made Shmerson have several serious conversations with the Shmembryo convincing it to stick around.
  • Made my mother have several serious conversations with the Shmembryo bribing it with food and toys.
  • Had several conversations with the Shmembryo bribing it with food and toys.
  • Installed the “What to Expect” app on my iPhone for the 3rd time. Shmembryo is apparently the size of a blueberry. Utterly disappointed to find that out, since a blueberry’s heartbeat is way too small to feel through my many layers of pudge. Plus, I don’t think blueberries have heartbeats. Hopefully Shmembryos do.
  • Found myself insanely jealous of a bunch of my fellow bloggy buddies who got a 6 week scan and saw a heartbeat. Happy for them, yes. But jealous. Soooo jealous!
  • Fallen in love. Darn it.
T minus ten (and a half) days. 7 weeks preggo tomorrow.
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21 Responses to “A List of Crazy Stuff I’ve Done in the Last Week”

  1. Infertile Days November 3, 2011 at 23:40 #

    Hope it sticks around too… were always WAITING aren’t we?

  2. Rebecca November 3, 2011 at 23:51 #

    I really hope it sticks. I have to say that I’m jealous but with my recent loss, yesterday, its understandable, or at least I think so. I wish only the best for you and wish you a healthy and happy 9 months.

  3. Rachel @ Eggs In A Row November 3, 2011 at 23:54 #

    The size of a blueberry? That’s incredible. Grow, Shmembryo, grow! And give your momma a break…flutter sooner rather than later! xoxoxo

  4. chon November 4, 2011 at 00:12 #

    I have a confession. I have been rubbing my belly. After staring at pregnant women with death adder eyes when they did it I find myself actually doing it – however it is only at home. I am just convincing mini nini that the Dojo is a good place to hang out for 9 months. I am freaking out today, I can’t wait for it to be over. This was the time last time it went kaboom. I know I should be totally comfo given I only had a BT on Wednesday and everything was ok. But I am infertile and have dealt with loss, like that is ever going to happen 🙂 I just totally hijacked your blog. Oops.

  5. Kristen November 4, 2011 at 00:17 #

    Waiting is sooooooo hard!
    Love that you’ve got purple sparkley butterfiles going on…that’s some more good bribery right there! 🙂
    XO

  6. Port of Indecision November 4, 2011 at 04:03 #

    Well, at least it’s nothing too out there :p

  7. Emily November 4, 2011 at 05:51 #

    just wanted to tell you I adore you. 🙂

  8. Marie November 4, 2011 at 07:52 #

    I’m gonna go ahead and be a TERRIBLE influence here…

    If you’re really that obsessed with getting an earlier scan to search for a heartbeat… Fake an emergency. Go in to the ER with “severe cramping” at 6 weeks pregnant. They will give you the ultrasound you crave.

    But you DIDN’T HEAR THIS FROM ME BECAUSE I AM A GOOD AND PATIENT FRIEND!!!

  9. cattiz j November 4, 2011 at 11:27 #

    Bribery is cute and jealousy is okay. I have been so freaking jealous myself at times!! Isn’t there any way of getting the reassurance you wish at this point? well other than paying out of pocket of course..

  10. Belle November 4, 2011 at 11:40 #

    Hang in there, Mo! I know you can make it 10 more days. Keep talking to Shembryo and take care of yourself. I don’t know what time it is there right now, but try to focus on just x more sleeps till ultra sound, kinda like Kermit and Christmas. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zZ2NCDZ6ZH8

  11. Flowergirl November 4, 2011 at 11:58 #

    Just cos you can’t see it, doesn’t mean that it isn’t there. Abdominal pain good (I was so confused when my clinic told me that), a little bit pukey good. Not miscarraging good.

    Trust me when I say that if you miscarry when you are on progesterone and therefore might not actually bleed, you know becuase the other symptons kind of go away. AND YOURS HAVEN’T.

    Or go with the suggestion of running to the ER and demanding one.

  12. Puppy-maker November 4, 2011 at 12:13 #

    Sweety, I’m glad you’re keeping yourself busy…
    Next week I’ll come over to you’re new app. and we’ll have a paaaarty….
    Love ya!

  13. St. Elsewhere November 4, 2011 at 14:32 #

    Oh em! Yup, I know those things you tried coz a couple of them have been my tricks too.

    Listen Shmembryo, when the Russian puts his wand on your mum’s belly, you better tell that guy that you are here to stay for good!

  14. Cookie with Milk November 4, 2011 at 15:29 #

    Bargaining and bribery are normal, methinks. Speaking of bribery, I currently owe the Crumb the following:

    ~a pony, plus jousting equipment
    ~a fort in the backyard shaped like a pirate’s ship
    ~a dollhouse made of wood, not plastic, and decorated with designer furniture
    ~a cupcake a day for a year
    ~two puppies
    ~a trip to Space Camp

    Yeah. Perfectly normal.

    Hang in there, Mo. *hugs*

    • Rachel @ Eggs In A Row November 4, 2011 at 18:44 #

      I went to space camp! Dear Crumb: IT is TOTALLY WORTH sticking around if you get to go to Space Camp. I had my first kiss there. With a boy who was an extra in “Boyz in da Hood”. I kid you not. See how much good stuff is out here? Love, Auntie Eggs.

    • AK November 4, 2011 at 22:47 #

      BEST. BRIBES. EVER.

    • Emily November 4, 2011 at 22:52 #

      I read all the bribing to the Hubby and he loves you guys! He thinks that is an awesome idea.

  15. ababaderech November 4, 2011 at 17:58 #

    I know it’s wrong to laugh at someone’s hard times but honey,
    You are so funny.

    I love you and miss you alot.

  16. missohkay November 4, 2011 at 20:56 #

    Dude, this wait before your scan is killing ME… so your list of crazy is totally justified and perhaps not even quite crazy enough. Now I’m going to cheerlead again: Let’s go Shmemby, let’s go. (clap clap) Let’s go Shmemby, let’s go. (clap clap).

  17. AK November 4, 2011 at 22:30 #

    Will you be leaving those purple butterflies up if you have a boy instead of a girl? Just curious. 🙂 Boys can like butterflies, too.

  18. the bunless oven November 5, 2011 at 08:27 #

    Ah ha! I laughed at these, because it all sound verrrry familiar – particularly the incessant googling. I had to delete the history from my phone browser as it was just a little embarrassing to be reminded of the last few mildly hysterical searches.
    It all sounds like it’s going well – wonderful news!
    xx

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