I Forgot That I’m Actually Pretty New At This

18 Oct

So you’d think that since this my fourth pregnancy, I’d pretty much know what I’m up against.

Except that:

  • I didn’t find out about my first pregnancy until I was six weeks along, and my one and only beta was in the thousands.
  • During my second pregnancy, I was in such a weird head space, and with the holidays at the time, I didn’t get a beta drawn or an ultrasound until I was already losing the pregnancy.
  • I didn’t even know I was pregnant with my third, until I was on my way to the ER
So actually, this is the first time that I’m not only aware of a pregnancy this early, but I’m actually monitoring things carefully. Yesterday I had major cramping. I was freaking out. It felt like AF was coming on, and on top of that my back hurt like a mofo. A quick conversation with Elphie on skype made me calm down and realize no bleeding = everything is still fine. But I was freaking out. Every little ache and pain, every time I don’t feel nauseous, every time my boobs aren’t as sore as I think they should be, I start to freak.
I don’t know what “right” is supposed to feel like. Because when it comes down to it, I’ve never actually had a pregnancy that was “right.”
I’m still trying to get an appointment with the Russian, and he’s away on vacation. There’s a slight chance I may be able to get in on Friday morning. But Shmerson said – and I think he may be right – that going in too soon would be worse than not going in at all, because if we don’t see a sac, then we’ll just have another week or so of freaking out even more.
I don’t know what to do.
Oh – and my second beta came in – 513. A doubling time of 43 hours. Yes, I know it’s good. I just wish there was a little more pukey and a little less crampy.

19 Responses to “I Forgot That I’m Actually Pretty New At This”

  1. bodegabliss October 18, 2011 at 23:43 #

    You know, what’s right for me won’t necessarily be right for you, but my nausea didn’t start full-force until the 6th or 7th week, I believe. And I remember when I was freaking out that I didn’t have any symptoms, I found that most women were the same. So maybe it’s still too early for the full-on symptoms to start?

    Not that that will necessarily calm your fears. I know for me, nothing really did.

  2. Creating A Rainbow October 18, 2011 at 23:48 #

    i agree the nausea is generally further down the course, but it sure would be nice to feel a little more reassured, huh? seems a little odd to be wishing for puking…but that’s IF for you! Congrats on the second beta – amazing!

  3. chon October 18, 2011 at 23:58 #

    i think everything is going really well Mo. Great beta, great doubling times and it is normal (or so i have heard!) to not have heaps of symptoms. i have everything crossed that this is it and you have a new baby to take home to the new house. xoxo

  4. Dawn October 19, 2011 at 00:06 #

    Fingers are still crossed so tight, I may get blisters. 🙂 But seriously, each pregnancy is different too. 1st one, nauseus at 4 weeks, bleeding (not severe, but not light either) throughout the pregnancy. 2nd one, no bleeding but the insane and sudden vomitting ruined my new car. Keep a bag with you at all times… you just never know if you’re going to need it. xoxo

  5. JM October 19, 2011 at 00:07 #

    Every pregnancy is different, even with the same woman. Some pregnancies have lots of symptoms, some have one symptom severely, some have very few or light symptoms. As long as everything else is going fine (and it sounds like it is), don’t worry about what symptoms you do and don’t have.

  6. someday-soon October 19, 2011 at 00:08 #

    Every pregnancy is different but I had LOTS of cramping, felt like the worst AF ever was on the way any minute from 4-6 weeks. From what my RE said it’s normal because implantation is a process that takes weeks. Extreme fatigue started at 5-6 weeks and the slight m/s I did have started at about 6-7 weeks. Other than that there were NO symptoms. Your doubling time rocks and I think Shmerson is right about going in too early, it can’t lead to anything good. My RE likes to wait until your 7 weeks to do an u/s so that a heart beat is almost a guarentee but I totally understand wanting one earlier to make sure Shmembryo is in the right spot. GL!!!

  7. aprilvak October 19, 2011 at 00:14 #

    You got this. Shmembryo knows how many of us are rooting for him.

    About feeling right: It’s kinda like googling symptoms and then getting to the good one, ‘do you feel pregnant?’ If it’s that easy, why would anyone need to google?

    Thank you again for the happy thoughts. It really meant a lot to me.

  8. Rachel @ Eggs In A Row October 19, 2011 at 00:31 #

    1. Shmembryo and I have an understanding. So relax.

    2. Haven’t you heard of that (ridiculous) show, “I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant”? Perhaps you are one of those people who, if only you had never had these IF struggles, would never have “symptoms”?

    3. You are pregnant! YAY!

  9. BleedingTulip October 19, 2011 at 00:40 #

    Beta’s doubled, YAAAAAYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I agree with everyone above. Every pregnancy is different. And even then, nausea doesn’t begin until later.

    I love how IF makes us hope for symptoms lol.

  10. alexmmr October 19, 2011 at 00:45 #

    19 weeks with twins and not a single vomit. My mother didn’t vomit at all during her 2 healthy pregnancies either.

    Not everyone gets sick and how sick you are isn’t an indicator of the health of the pregnancy.

  11. LolaLovesPhotography October 19, 2011 at 00:59 #

    every pregnancy is different. i missed 1st tri with all 3 of mine… finsing out i was pregnant and 19 weeks, 17 weeks and then 23 weeks !!

    good luck darling. x

  12. Kristen October 19, 2011 at 01:15 #

    That’s such a great beta…congratulations! And the cramps can be a good sign…when I’ve been pregnant the last 2 times I felt exactly like I was going to get my period in the early days…unnerving, but doesn’t mean anything bad. Also I had 2 weeks or so between my good betas and when I started feeling sick…I felt GREAT for those two weeks so don’t you worry. 🙂 (Easier said than done, I know…)

  13. Libby October 19, 2011 at 03:19 #

    Breathe. And punch yourself in the boobs if that helps. It REALLY hurts.

  14. Esperanza October 19, 2011 at 05:39 #

    Just wanted to let you know that I’m thinking of you today and every day, sending happy and healthy nine month thoughts your way.

  15. cattiz j October 19, 2011 at 10:02 #

    Sounds good with doubling beta! Another step in the right direction.

    And I’m so glad to read these comments, so thanks for posting this! I am too freaking out a little bit. But back pain is an early sign of pregnancy, strange as it sounds. I also have it on and off, just like the cramps. Hope that helps although as it is said, everyone is different. Makes it tricky, hope you get that appointment in the right time for a lovely heartbeat. Thinking of you.

    • St. Elsewhere October 19, 2011 at 13:47 #

      Cattiz – back pains, yes! They are a symptom too.

  16. St. Elsewhere October 19, 2011 at 13:46 #

    Well, nice doubling time, nice beta!

    I think Shmerson is right. Hold him tight, coz I think he will ensure you get through this with sanity intact.

    I had lot of cramping when I was pregnant with CBub. Night nausea followed a little later. But cramps were definitely there. This time around, there were no clear cramps, I got an almost-AF and nausea set in pretty late. So everything is fluid. Cramping in itself is not a bad sign. Just be vigilant.

    I hope to see positive milestones in your story. I hope both of us have our 2012 babies healthy and happy!

  17. cablearms October 19, 2011 at 15:02 #

    doubling beta = good.
    i’m rooting for you and Shmembroyo. xoxo

  18. Wendy October 19, 2011 at 17:33 #

    Hey mama-to-be,

    I know everyone has different pregnancy symptoms but yours sound so similar to where I was between 5-7 weeks: lots of cramping/period-like feelings, but little nausea. However, around 8 weeks, the nausea and food aversions hit full force. As for the cramps, I still have them but they feel differently than in the beginning-it feels as if my uterus is stretching, which it probably is. Try not to over-analyze (yeah, right) everything and just enjoy the first chapter of your pregnancy. 🙂

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