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This is me NOT being self flagellating. No. Really. I swear.

28 Sep

Me: Our pants don’t fit anymore.

Me: I know. I’m ok with that. It’s a side-effect of the Cym.balta, and um, you know, the fact that we had surgery a month and a half ago. And that we’ve been pregnant 3 times in the last year.

Me: So? We’re fat. I want to hate us now. Can I hate us?

Me: Nope. Not doing that anymore. We are learning patience and forgiveness for not being perfect.

Me: Ok. So we’re not mad at ourselves for the fat thing?

Me: Nope.

Me: What about resolving to completely overhaul our eating habits NOW and do a 180? We should totally do that!

Me: Not gonna happen.

Me: But why? I love it when we do that!

Me: But then we fail and hate ourselves.

Me: So? That’s my favorite part!

Me: Not gonna happen.

Me: Ok. Fine. Can we be mad at ourselves for not going to yoga then?

Me: Nope. Things are too busy and crazy right now for that. it’s ok if we don’t go back to yoga for a while.

Me: Ok – how about the fact that we got home at 4pm today and did NOTHING and the house is a mess?

Me: Nope. It was a long day and we needed a break to veg and do nothing. Plus, there’s not much point in cleaning. We’re starting to pack next week so the house will be a wreck anyway.

Me: Oh come on! I need a reason to hate on us! I can’t stand this whole acceptance thing! It’s totally against everything we stand for!

Me: Not anymore sweetheart. We’re all content and at peace and shit.

Me: Come on, throw me a bone here!

Me: Fine. Here’s one: We’ve been really crappy at keeping up with the blogs this week. And it’s ICLW.

Me: Oh! Yep! We totally have! Yay! Can I flagellate us now?

Me: Fine. Go ahead.

Me: *jumps up and down with excitement and runs to grab the whip*

Me: We have a problem, seriously. Well – you do at least.

PS – Happy birthday BB! Love you!

PPS – Even though things are crazy, I’ll still have time for Group Therapy Thursday this week! Don’t just sit there –submit your question! 🙂

PPSS – Shana Tova to all of you Jewish-type people in blog land! Hope this year brings good news for all of us! And stuff! And things!

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20 Responses to “This is me NOT being self flagellating. No. Really. I swear.”

  1. lis September 28, 2011 at 00:29 #

    yes. all day long.
    xoxo
    lis

  2. Rachel @ Eggs In A Row September 28, 2011 at 00:29 #

    Let’s not hate us, ok? Just because our pants don’t fit. No hating you, in 5772! You hear me? I love you.

    • Rachel @ Eggs In A Row September 28, 2011 at 00:30 #

      Does that count as one of my ICLW comments? I suck too.

  3. lis September 28, 2011 at 00:29 #

    ps im LeLeIsMe on twitter, i don’t think you follow me and i always go to respond to you there and can’t bc im private!

  4. Esperanza September 28, 2011 at 00:42 #

    I think the posts when you talk to yourself are my FAVORITES. I think I must try to do one myself.

    I love this new attitude of acceptance! I hope you can keep it going!

  5. Natalie September 28, 2011 at 00:42 #

    Hilarious!

  6. Infertile Days September 28, 2011 at 00:59 #

    Good for you Mo, proud of you!
    This post sounds just like me… except about the being patient and forgiving myself part.
    Will have to think about that. I know I need to do that, but its so hard.

  7. mothernatureschmature September 28, 2011 at 01:00 #

    I’m so glad you have you to put you in your place!

  8. April September 28, 2011 at 01:20 #

    Do you give lessons on the telling yourself no flagellation thing? Cause I could use a couple.

  9. Jjiraffe September 28, 2011 at 01:27 #

    LOVE this. Seriously. A. Lot.

    Shana Tova!

  10. cablearms September 28, 2011 at 02:12 #

    i love you, Mo.
    you’re awesome.

  11. Port of Indecision September 28, 2011 at 02:46 #

    I’ve sucked at ICLW on many an occasion. But this post definitely does not suck. Thanks for the laugh 🙂

  12. maya September 28, 2011 at 02:52 #

    1. Happy birthday! (late, sorry…)
    2. shana Tova, happy new year!
    3. this year will be better! it has to!

    neshikot,
    M

  13. chon September 28, 2011 at 06:03 #

    *snort* oh how you funny me – we can self flagellate together 🙂

  14. endoandbeyond September 28, 2011 at 06:57 #

    wow, thanks for verbalizing this. i need to get more on the acceptance train and less on the self-flag band wagon

  15. Cattiz J September 28, 2011 at 12:24 #

    I did nothing yesterday too. Time to clean up the house and run some errands..

  16. bodegabliss September 28, 2011 at 17:44 #

    “We’re all content and at peace and shit.” HAHAHAHHA. you’re awesome.

    And thanks for the birthday wishes! You’re the best. Love!

  17. Libby September 29, 2011 at 03:23 #

    Love this post. LOVE IT.

  18. Kristin September 29, 2011 at 05:23 #

    Good for you for fighting back against yourself.

  19. Belle September 29, 2011 at 21:53 #

    This is hilarious and an excellent point that I need to take to heart and remember!

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