It Ain’t Over ‘Til the Red Lady Sings (only sometimes it’s not over then either)

17 Sep

So, of course I couldn’t hold back any longer. I used my second (and only remaining) Rolls Royce FRER this morning (I blame peer pressure! And JM! And Marie! But mostly my lack of will power when it comes to pee sticks). It was a BFN, and a couple of hours ago I started spotting. It’s all over, right?

Wrong. Allow me to share with you how ectopics can mess with a girl’s head:

Aunt Flo is about a day early, at least according to my 100 or so iPhone tracking apps (Ok, I only have two. But still).

So any of you guys remember what happened the last time the biyatch was early? No? Well, let me refresh your memory: It turned out to be implantation bleeding. And I was preggo without knowing it. And it was ectopic.

So yeah, looks like Niagara Falls coming out of my cootch is not enough to convince me that I am not knocked up.

***Note to Self: Book idea. Memoir. “Me and My Cootch, My Cootch and I – Tales of a Crazy Infertile” It could be a bestseller, don’t you think?

Ehem. Sorry. Anyway, if I’m not knocked up, that’s fine. Really. Things are so crazy with the new apartment it’s probably for the best. Plus, each time we’ve managed a knock-up on the first month of trying it’s ended badly. And implantation this late in the cycle has also always ended badly. Different is definitely good in this case.

So yeah, no tears or anything. My new sense of zen is proving itself (as are the new happy pills. Yay drugs!).

But the paranoia is there for sure. One day early = false negative until proven otherwise.

So yes, I will be peeing on a stick one last time tomorrow morning, just to be sure.

Better safe than sorry I say.

(Now I just need to figure out how to get a hold of more FRERs for next month. Quite the conundrum. If I were a drug addict, these things would be like – premium grade heroine or something. How can you go back to crack after that? And how inappropriate is this metaphor? I believe I have hit a new metaphor low.)

Have a fabulous weekend everyone!

16 Responses to “It Ain’t Over ‘Til the Red Lady Sings (only sometimes it’s not over then either)”

  1. SLC September 17, 2011 at 02:38 #

    That second cat is creepy AND funny. Sorry you’re having to go through the stress. It’s never fun to have any resemblance to a bad situation. Oh, I’m voting for “My Cootch and I”.

  2. slcurwin September 17, 2011 at 02:40 #

    friggin hell, why do I keep getting put under the “guest” bar. It messes with my head having all the same info so I don’t notice right away.

    • Mo September 17, 2011 at 02:49 #

      It’s your special talent. You are special. 🙂

  3. eggsinarow September 17, 2011 at 03:26 #

    I’d buy it. Lol. Fingers crossed for a healthy whatever is supposed to happen. Xoxo

  4. Port of Indecision September 17, 2011 at 03:47 #

    I like My Cootch and I, as long as you have a chapter on My Infertile Cootch Friends and I, too.

  5. Sherrie September 17, 2011 at 04:29 #

    LOL 😀
    Mo – you crack me up! I think you should totally write that book – I’d buy it!!

    I hope that everything works out… one way or the other! I’m super happy to hear that you’ve found your zen…now if only I could find mine again… 😛 Hang on – you didn’t steal MY zen did you??

    **Pass the drugs kitty cat!


    • Mo September 17, 2011 at 18:14 #

      *evil laugh* ehem, no of course I didn’t steal your zen. Pay no attention to the fingers crossed behind my back. 😛

  6. Esperanza September 17, 2011 at 04:57 #

    Want me to send you some FRERs? Or are they considered contraband when sent to an addict such as yourself?

    All joking aside, I can totally send you some.

    • Mo September 17, 2011 at 18:16 #

      Thanks hon! I may take you up on that…

  7. alexmmr September 17, 2011 at 06:28 #

    Ummmm, if it’s implantation bleeding, doesn’t it take another 48 hours before enough HCG is built up to be detectable?

    • Mo September 17, 2011 at 18:13 #

      Yes it does. Which makes me stooopid. I should know that by now. Thanks for reminding me! I’ll pee the day after tomorrow. 🙂

  8. KristelKlear September 17, 2011 at 07:13 #

    What a conundrum! 😦 I hope AF stops in her tracks!! FX for a good result. If not, we’ll be here. ::hugs::

  9. Emily Walters LeBaron September 17, 2011 at 14:34 #

    I’m the same way- I keep testing throughout AF just in case. We’ve been TTC for 21 months now so that’s a lot of pee sticks! With our son though my implantation bleeding was so heavy that I thought it WAS AF and so didn’t know I was pregnant. When I missed AF the next month and then went for our 10 week ultrasound the tech. said we were really 14 weeks along! As a result I obsessively test “just in case!” I think it makes it twice as stressful!

  10. Kat September 18, 2011 at 11:24 #

    Reading this reminded me of me! I’ve gotten over it a bit now (a year and a half later) but for a while I could be 2-3 days into AF and still be thinking ‘maybe it’s another ectopic’
    Hope all is well.

  11. Kristen September 18, 2011 at 22:53 #

    Sucks that things aren’t at all clear-cut. You sound like you’re in a really good frame of mind, though, and that’s huge. Fingers crossed it’s implantation bleeding and the little one’s implanting where he/she is supposed to.

  12. bodegabliss September 19, 2011 at 18:35 #

    You’re freaking hilarious. And I also thought about sending you some sticks, but then I would be supporting your habit, and I just don’t know how I feel about that. But I might just do it anyway since I’m sending you something soon (ha!)….and then I’ll be considered your dealer. Awesome!

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