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What a Difference A Month Makes

31 Aug

Well, a month and apparently a change of happy pills.

My shrink came back from a month long vacation, and today was our first session since before the lap. So much has happened in the last month. For a second there, I just sat trying to figure out where the hell to start. And I started here, with that video diary from almost a decade ago. Telling her about it and about the revelations it has lead to took up the entire hour. I started to see how that moment was a turning point. It was the place where I started to truly accept my situation. I’m not sure if I would say “embrace”. But accept. Understand that this is where I am, and start to be ok with that.

I feel like the last month has brought on revelation after revelation. Change after change.

I sit here today thinking about the place I was a little less than a month ago. Freaking out about the lap, grasping at straws of control, and I realize how far I’ve come and how much easier things have become, despite that fact that in general things are “supposed to be” more difficult now because of all of the craziness in our life right now.

It’s nothing tangible. I just feel – well – better. Not amazing. Not high. Not unbelievable. But I’m ok. And you know what? I think that’s pretty cool.

And yes, I do think the cym.balta has something to do with it too. It’s working. I know it is. And that’s pretty cool too.

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12 Responses to “What a Difference A Month Makes”

  1. Belle August 31, 2011 at 22:50 #

    I think acceptance is the key to surviving this journey. I’m so glad that you have found “better!”

  2. BleedingTulip August 31, 2011 at 23:24 #

    Your kitty made me smile 🙂

    I’m really glad the cimbalta is working and helping. Nothing wrong with needing help!

  3. eggsinarow September 1, 2011 at 03:59 #

    Yay! I love to hear that.

  4. Esperanza September 1, 2011 at 04:15 #

    I’m so glad that things are looking more positive than they did a month ago. That makes me happy. And happy is good. 😉

  5. LisaB September 1, 2011 at 16:14 #

    hehe! I love the kitty! So glad you’re feeling okay! That’s great!

  6. Pcostory September 1, 2011 at 16:54 #

    Just started reading your blog… Will catch up soon! :). Thanks fir the follow, btw

  7. bodegabliss September 1, 2011 at 19:27 #

    I think that’s pretty cool, too. 😉

  8. bodegabliss September 1, 2011 at 19:28 #

    OH! And Happy Birthday Month! Woohoo!

  9. Advo.cat September 1, 2011 at 20:07 #

    See? There is an appropriate lolCat for any occasion =)

  10. JM September 1, 2011 at 20:51 #

    It is a wonderful feeling, huh? I’m off my meds for ttc purposes, but frequently wonder what the last few years would have been like had I not. I mean, it’s not like I got a baby out of the deal, right?

    I would like that kitten, please. NOW.

  11. Kristen September 1, 2011 at 23:07 #

    So very glad to hear you are feeling a bit better! 🙂 Yay, yay, yay!!!

  12. Mo September 2, 2011 at 00:08 #

    Thanks ladies. You all rock, as per usual!! 🙂

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