Virtual Treasure and Angry Birds

1 Aug

Me: Ahhhhhhh!!!!!

Me: Stop it.

Me: No! I’m freaking out!

Me: Stop it.

Me: Poof! I stopped it.

Me: Good.

Me: Dude, I didn’t really. Come on, you should know better. Can I go back to screaming now?

Me: No. Tell me what’s wrong.

Me: You know very well. We’re going in for surgery on Thursday. SURGERY!

Me: Thousands of people do it every day.

Me: Don’t care.

Me: It’s perfectly safe. You’ll be asleep the entire time.

Me: With a tube stuck down my throat! That’s not sleep. That’s torture!

Me: You won’t even know it’s there!

Me: Ahhhhhh!!!!!

Me: What now?

Me: I won’t even know it’s there! No control! Can we run away? Please?

Me: No. We’ve got to do this.

Me: Why?

Me: You know what we’ve been doing the last few days?

Me: Watching too much reality TV and feeling useless?

Me: Yes, that.

Me: What about it?

Me: We do that when we’re depressed or anxious.

Me: No shit, Sherlock.

Me: Now what has been the primary cause of this depression and anxiety?

Me: You being a pain in my ass?

Me: No. Try again.

Me: Me being a pain in your ass?

Me: That too. But dig deeper.

Me: The baby thing?

Me: Yes. The baby thing.

Me: What does that have to do with us getting cut open and being completely in other people’s control for HOURS? HOURS!!!!

Me: Breathe. Remember last month when we were TTC and sitting at home depressed because we were scared of another ectopic?

Me: Yeah. That sucked. But that How I Met Your Mother marathon was nice.

Me: Yes, that was nice. But you also spent a few too many hours hunting for virtual treasure on FB.

Me: That was fun!

Me: No it’s dumb. It’s a waste of our time and… Well, I would say energy but it mostly involves clicking.

Me: Ok. I’ll give you that.

Me: And the fact that we got three stars on all the levels of Angry Birds Seasons?

Me: It was awesome!

Me: No. It was unsatisfying. It was us being depressed.

Me: But the birds! And the piggies! And the golden eggs!

Me: You’re deluding yourself.

Me: So? What’s your point?

Me: My point is – get through this week. Make it to the lap. Get through it.

Me: But I don’t wanna!

Me: Do you want babies?

Me: Babies?

Me: Yes, babies.

Me: Babies! Babies! Babies! Babies!

Me: See now I’ve got your attention.

Me: Babies! Babies! Babies… huh?

Me: This will help us get the babies.

Me: Are you sure?

Me: No. But it’s a place to start.

Me: You promise we’ll be OK?

Me: I promise.

Me: And can we at least spend some of this week trying to get 3 stars on Angry Birds Rio?

Me: Yes. I’ll even let you hunt for some virtual treasure. But after that – to the lap we go!

Me: Ahhhhhhh!!!!!!!!

Me: This is a lost cause….

27 Responses to “Virtual Treasure and Angry Birds”

  1. bodegabliss August 1, 2011 at 23:48 #

    I just emailed you…but I wanted to say again: I promise you’ll be okay. And I’ll be thinking about you all day on Thursday (starting my Wednesday night). Love! xoxox

    • Mo August 2, 2011 at 17:56 #

      Thanks hon. xoxo

  2. Kristen August 2, 2011 at 00:16 #

    Deep breaths. The anticipation sucks…wish this were over for you. It’s going to be OK. And I’m glad you’re reminding yourself why you are doing this…babies!
    Hang in there!

    • Mo August 2, 2011 at 17:57 #

      Thanks. 🙂

  3. Betsy August 2, 2011 at 00:26 #

    Good luck! I’ll be thinking of you and praying for everything to go perfectly! Maybe you can get a good pain pill prescription.

    • Betsy August 2, 2011 at 00:26 #

      Not that I think you’ll need pain pills…Just because they’re nice to have.

      • Mo August 2, 2011 at 17:57 #

        I’m all for drugs. I had an appt. with the anesthesiologist today and specifically requested drugs to make me as stoned as possible leading up to it. Yay drugs!

  4. BleedingTulip August 2, 2011 at 01:44 #

    May I just say I love your inner-dialogue posts? 🙂 Although you should include your dog’s inner-dialogue, it could only increase the amusement!
    Once you are done, you will wonder what the big deal was. And really, you know this is worth it, you know it is what you want. Try to spend more time outside, fresh air and all that really DOES help with anxiety and depression. Grab a good book, or your pooch, or whatnot (angry birds perhaps?) and go to the park and just let the nature help you refocus.
    Advice I need to take myself, I know!

    • Mo August 2, 2011 at 17:58 #

      I should definitely check if Luna’s up for writing a guest post. I’ll look into it. 🙂

  5. lis August 2, 2011 at 03:00 #

    ugh. i know how you feel and im hoping you can make some soft of peace with this before thursday. whats more, im not sure exactly what you’re having done, but i really hope it helps you get babies.
    ive had the tube down the throat a couple times and im not ashamed to say that’s my worst fear too (im having surgery again at the end of aug and im already dreading it) but honestly, just tell them you are nervous and they will start your drugs early. bonus! and you may get a sore throat, but only maybe. probably not.
    hoping this is what you need to get things going…

  6. lis August 2, 2011 at 03:15 #

    *sort of peace

    *i didn’t mean to imply that they place the tube while you are awake. they don’t. im sure you know that but sometimes it makes you feel better when someone else says it!


    • Mo August 2, 2011 at 17:59 #

      I know hon. Thanks for your kind words! 🙂

  7. Port of Indecision August 2, 2011 at 03:25 #

    You got 3 stars on EVERY LEVEL of Angry Birds? I bow down to you in awe.

    • Mo August 2, 2011 at 17:59 #

      LOL. Angry Birds SEASONS. Still working on the original. Though I’m getting close.

  8. mrs. brightside August 2, 2011 at 04:41 #

    Angry Birds, the RPL distraction of choice 🙂 Thanks for reaching out to me and my MIA-ness. The anticipation sucks but soon will all be over and you’ll be so glad!

    • Mo August 2, 2011 at 17:59 #

      Thanks hon. Nice to have you back in the blogoverse.

  9. Esperanza August 2, 2011 at 05:09 #

    I LOVE your inner monologue pieces. So freaking hilarious. And so honest. I. love. them.

    You’re going to be okay, but you have every right to be terrified until you come out on the other side.

    PS, I got the chocolate today. Thank you so much. I’ve already eaten one whole bar and it was AMAZING!

    • Mo August 2, 2011 at 18:00 #

      Yay! Chocolate!!!! xoxo

  10. Flowergirl August 2, 2011 at 10:34 #

    Hey hun, you will be brilliant, it will all go well, you are taking control and doing what you can too reduce the threat of future ectopic pregnancy. That must be a good thing.

    My husband will be jealous about your Angry Birds status.

    And afterwards, you are allowed to take some time to look after yourself.

    • Mo August 2, 2011 at 18:00 #

      thanks hon. Much appreciated. Tell your husband I said “nyah!” 😛

  11. myjourney7283 August 2, 2011 at 15:50 #

    Hey there Mo — I’ll be thinking of you! You’ve been so great & supportive during the last few weeks, now its time for me to be there for you! I haven’t been through a lap before, but I’ll definitely be sending you all my happy thoughts, good vibes & prayers. 🙂 Hang in there chica!

    • Mo August 2, 2011 at 18:00 #

      Thanks so much hon. Much appreciated!

  12. Jjiraffe August 2, 2011 at 17:50 #

    Ok, this was totally hilarious. I also obsessively watch HIMYM and play Angry Birds when I’m stressed. (Although I have never, ever gotten that good a score. Impressive.) Thinking of you and wishing you all the best for your lap…

    • Mo August 2, 2011 at 18:01 #

      Thank you! xoxo

  13. Libby August 3, 2011 at 14:12 #

    You’ll be fine. And if you need a show to watch “Parks and Rec” is always good.

  14. Cattiz J August 3, 2011 at 15:46 #

    Sending good thoughts your way. You’ll be in good hands. Keep the eye on the prize, okay! Hugs.


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