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I Dream of Pee Sticks

7 Jul

I think the only part I really like about the TWW is the pee sticks. I know they’re a money pit, but I find them strangely addictive. Especially when I get a second line. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I love it when my pee is magic! I mean, I’m only 9 DPO, and the chances of me getting that elusive second line even if Little Lefty made it are slim to none. Still I pee. I pee because I love.

Since 6DPO, when I first broke down and pulled out the HPT’s, I’ve been having some strange sleeping patterns, and some even stranger dreams. I’m attributing them to those lovely Progesterone Suppositories. Here’s what my mornings look like:

8am – wake up – look at the clock, see it’s way too early since I’d been up writing until 3am. I need to pee, but I hold off, knowing that I want as full a bladder as possible for the HPT. I grab a progesterone pill, stick it up my hoo-ha, and go back to sleep.

Then I dream about pee sticks. Seriously. This has happened every morning since I started testing.

Dream day one: For some reason, all I remember is that the HPT looked like a panty liner, and that the second elusive line appeared, and then disappeared.

Dream day two: Same as day one, weirdly enough.

Dream day three: HPT still looks like a panty liner. This time the second line sticks. Needless to say that when I woke up, I was utterly disappointed when I finally emptied my bladder on a pee stick and got yet another BFN.

Dream day four: Well, this one was interesting. The HPT actually looked like an HPT. I pee on the stick, but it’s not working. Somebody tells me I need to run the stick under a stream of water to make the test work. I do, and I get a BFP. For some reason I’m skeptical, though I know the water can’t be pregnant.

Once again, I wake up from this dream, hopeful that I have me some mad psychic skillz. Alas, I am shot down with another BFN.

Look, I’m pretty sure this cycle is a bust. I go in tomorrow morning for a Beta at 10 DPO, and if it’s still negative I’ll probably go again on Sunday just to be sure before I stop the progesterone. But I didn’t get the “feeling” this month, so I’m pretty sure I’m getting the blood drawn for nothing. Still, I want to be sure before I give AF the green light to grace me with her presence. And also, each time I’ve had the “feeling” it’s ended in miscarriage – so maybe I don’t really want those mad psychic skillz after all. Watch this space, I’ll keep you posted about the results!

And yes, in the meantime I will continue with the pee sticks. What can I say? It’s a passion of mine, and I fully intend to continue to pursue it!

Oh – and before I go, a shameless plug: have you seen my ongoing series on the harry potter films over on keypulp? You haven’t? Well, you should go check the first one out! The second should be up a bit later today, and I’ll be publishing one a day until the 8th movie is released next week. They are proof positive that I can be snarky about things other than my tubes for a change! Yay snark and Harry Potter geekdom!

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11 Responses to “I Dream of Pee Sticks”

  1. Esperanza July 7, 2011 at 03:58 #

    I find it fascinating that you actually like to POAS. I always hated it. LOATHED it. Maybe that is because I almost always got a BFN. So many BFNs for so, so many months. POAS always caused me to hyperventilate. I just hated it so much. In the end I stopped doing it unless my temps stayed high even on DPO12 – I was a 12 day LP girl and my temps always hit the cover line on DPO12 before my period came on DPO13, better known as CD1. In fact, the only time I didn’t follow that rule was when I POAS on DPO11 on the cycle that ended up being my post-ectopic BFP. At that point I just wanted to get the waiting over with so I POAS to put myself out of my misery and wouldn’t you know it, it came back positive. I literally freaked out, because this was a cheapy internet test, not an HPT and those didn’t show a second line for me during my second pregnancy even on DPO16. So yeah, I freaked out, not the happy kind of freaking out, the sobbing, anxious wreck kind of freaked out. But as a fellow ectopic survivor you know what that is all about.

    I hope you get the elusive second line to show up. I really, really do.

    • Mo July 7, 2011 at 12:15 #

      I totally get the freaking out part. I’ve been there, as you well know. I think the pee sticks give me a false sense of control, and I guess a false sense for me is better than no sense of control at all.

  2. Teejay July 7, 2011 at 04:20 #

    You are too funny. Don’t be too frustrated if it didn’t work this month. You did everything you could but things were a little whacky from the start. I’m keeping my fingers crossed for you and I hope you get a big surprise with your beta. Nothing would make me happier than to check my reader and see that post from you.

    • Mo July 7, 2011 at 12:15 #

      Thanks hon. From your mouth to FSM’s ears!

  3. Bodega Bliss July 7, 2011 at 05:15 #

    I think you either love peeing, or loathe it. this is one area we differ because I’m with Esperanza: I HATE peeing on sticks. It’s just too emotional for me. So maybe your obsession with it is to balance me out! you know how us Librans love balance. 😉 you better let me know as soon as you get the results! Xoxo

    • Mo July 7, 2011 at 12:16 #

      Of course I’ll let you know. Glad to see we add some balance to the universe. 🙂

  4. babycrazykiwi July 7, 2011 at 05:25 #

    HPT as panty liners….could this be due to you wearing panty liners because of the progesterone sups? Still a bit random…albeit entertaining to read. I hope this cycle isn’t a bust for you !

    • Mo July 7, 2011 at 12:16 #

      Good call! I’m sure that’s why. 🙂

  5. jjiraffe July 7, 2011 at 08:49 #

    Another vote for hating POAS. They’re so expensive and usually only come in packs of two. The humiliation as I buy them from clerks who say stuff like, good luck, sucks too.

    Hoping for the best. I loved the first HP movie analysis , BTW. Can’t wait for more!!

    • Mo July 7, 2011 at 12:17 #

      I guess I’m alone on this one, huh? 🙂
      Thanks for reading the HP post! (and RTing it!)

  6. starfishkittydreams July 8, 2011 at 04:04 #

    There may still be hope! I have mixed feelings about pee sticks. I wouldn’t rule them out already. My last pregnancy I got three negatives after day 14 only to get a positive on day 21. I think I may have gotten a bad box of tests, but since that experience I recommend doing a blood test to be sure.

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