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Here Goes Nothing

27 Jun

I hope Today was a day of new beginnings.

I started to say “I hope”. But the truth is it was. At 8am, Shmerson came home, and we immediately left for the bank to withdraw every last little cent we have for the deposit on our new home. Then we went to the lawyer’s office and signed the papers. We are officially homeowners. Well, apartment owners. Same-same, right?

Now we have three months ahead of us of trying to sell our current place, applying for mortgages, and generally getting ourselves together. We’ll most likely be moving in around September – October.

Oh – and hopefully we also managed to make a baby.

Superstitions got the best of me today. On the way to the lawyer’s office the pop radio station started playing my favorite band – Faith No More. Something they do maybe once a decade. I decided it was a good sign.

When the contract was signed, we went home and well – you know, we got things done.

Shmerson smiled at me and said “Today is a day of new beginnings.”

I felt it. I believed it. I still do.

A few hours after Shmerson went back to the base (he’ll be gone until next Tuesday. Boo!), I felt little leftie pop. It was one second – but I knew it had happened. I stood up straight and still – hoping not to rattle anything around in there and hoping that she’d make it into Ole’ Lefty safely.

I spent most of today convinced that this is it. Bargaining with the universe again. I mean, how perfect would it be? To conceive a healthy pregnancy on the day we buy our new home?

I secretly kept saying to myself: “If this happens, I will believe. I don’t know in what, but in something.”

Because it’s just too perfect. So perfect that I feel like this HAS to work. So perfect that I’m terrified that it won’t.

But for now I’m just going to get through this week, hoping against all hope that this works. Being grateful either way, that Shmerson and I finally have a place to call our own, with room for our future children, and this amazing balcony:

Our balcony. Ain't it pretty?

We signed the contract exactly one year and one month after our wedding day. 13 months of limbo, and of heartache. I just really do hope that this is a new beginning for us.

I mean, I know it will be. I just hope that it is in more ways than one.

Let the freaking out commence!

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35 Responses to “Here Goes Nothing”

  1. marriage20 June 27, 2011 at 23:22 #

    How exciting!! Here’s hoping the next few months bring you nothing but joy and good news. xo

    • Mo June 28, 2011 at 18:41 #

      Thanks!

      • whoismom June 30, 2011 at 13:00 #

        Good luck! I hope you have all that you dream of!!

  2. eggsinarow June 27, 2011 at 23:29 #

    I feel it. I truly do. And not just the ovary pains, lol, but the fact that something great is starting. So excited for you! xoxo

    • Mo June 28, 2011 at 18:41 #

      LOL thanks

  3. Slackie O. June 27, 2011 at 23:48 #

    Congrats on the lovely new scenery and fingers crossed for all the pieces falling into just the right places!

    • Mo June 28, 2011 at 18:41 #

      thank you!

  4. chon1203 June 27, 2011 at 23:54 #

    a) i hope old leftie popped and those super swimmers did the job in old leftie
    b) balcony looks gorgeous – what a shame you can’t drink on there because you will be pregnant
    c) did it have a bath!
    and lastly oh god i hope this is it for you!

    • eggsinarow June 28, 2011 at 00:06 #

      I just laughed my a@@ off at b) balcony looks gorgeous – what a shame you can’t drink on there because you will be pregnant. I want you to be my cheerleader once I make my ttc decisions! 🙂

      • Mo June 28, 2011 at 18:42 #

        Eggsinarow isn’t chon the bestest?!?! Chon – thanks hon. and it does have a bath! but not nearly as awesome as yours, I assure you. 🙂

  5. infertilerevolutionary June 28, 2011 at 00:14 #

    Nice view! Good luck w/ everything.

    • Mo June 28, 2011 at 18:45 #

      Thanks IFR – and glad to see you here. I’ve been following your blog for a while – lurking for some reason. I should stop that. 🙂 Everybody go over to her blog! It’s awesome!

  6. Artistmouse June 28, 2011 at 02:09 #

    Congrats on the new place, and I’m praying that everything else falls into place for you. 🙂

    • Mo June 28, 2011 at 18:45 #

      Thanks hon. I’ll take your prayers happily and gratefully! 🙂

  7. Christina June 28, 2011 at 02:34 #

    I love that balcony! Congrats on the new place and the perfect timing! Here’s to things falling into place (the left one and then the uterus 😉 ! ) and the next several months are filled with many joys for the 2 of you!

    • Mo June 28, 2011 at 18:46 #

      Thanks hon. Let’s hope things fall – and then stick around.

  8. Port of Indecision June 28, 2011 at 03:00 #

    Congrats on the apartment, that is so exciting!

    I’ll be keeping my fingers crossed that ol’ leftie sends that little egg down the right tube.

  9. Libby June 28, 2011 at 04:04 #

    Go leftie, go!

  10. babycrazykiwi June 28, 2011 at 05:15 #

    Congrats on your new home. The balcony looks fabulous. And I really hope ole lefty does the trick. I’m left handed so I’ll give some of you my lefty luck!!

  11. Advo.cat June 28, 2011 at 07:24 #

    Congratulations! Looks awesome. And on a side note, I effing LOVE Faith No More. My husband introduced me to them on our first date =) When I’m feeling super cranky, I like to put on “We Care a Lot” and do a little head banging.

    • Mo June 28, 2011 at 18:43 #

      Nice! My cranky song is “Small Victory”

  12. Teejay June 28, 2011 at 13:07 #

    Congrats on the new place! So exciting! I’m sending specific directions for everything to go down the correct path so that you have even more to celebrate very soon!

  13. Cattiz J June 28, 2011 at 14:41 #

    Perfect timing for a new beginning. That balcony is looking really promising. Congrats to your new place.

  14. Keiko June 28, 2011 at 17:33 #

    I have the biggest smile of excitement and hope for you both. What a wonderful post. Mazel tov on the new home & crossing my fingers and toes that Ole Lefty did her job 😉

    • Mo June 28, 2011 at 18:44 #

      Thanks Keiko!

  15. A. June 28, 2011 at 18:09 #

    Lots of good vibes for 2 new beginnings – new home and even more importantly, new baby on the way!! Thinking of you guys.

  16. Mo June 28, 2011 at 18:47 #

    Wow ladies thank you all! It’s awesome to know you’re all rooting for us 🙂 I gave Lefty a talking to and told her to do her job today cause if not she’s got some hell to pay.
    You guys rock!

  17. jen June 28, 2011 at 22:22 #

    I hope the next few months bring you guys lots of luck! Hopefully by the time you move, you are nice and pregnant!

  18. zygotta June 29, 2011 at 02:03 #

    We conceived on my bday…
    The day before I found out I was pregnant, I got a perfect job offer – so I will have decent income now and 50 weeks of paid mat leave…

    Doesn’t this also sound too perfect? It sure does!

    Go, lefty, go – we all know you can do it!!!

  19. an american not in paris June 29, 2011 at 13:14 #

    This past weekend, I photographed a fairy tale wedding. Here’s hoping that you and all of us who are reproductively challenged get our fairy tale endings! Love the balcony, too – you can always drink virgin daiquiris 😉

  20. BleedingTulip June 29, 2011 at 23:51 #

    I feel the same way about my move. That moving… it’s what will make things work. excited and nervous, hopeful and freaked out.
    Your balcony looks beautiful! I hope all the rest of the stuff for your move works out smoothly and quickly!

  21. starfishkittydreams June 30, 2011 at 02:15 #

    So exciting! I agree it really would be perfect and who knows, it really could work out like that. My fingers are crossed that this month is the month!

  22. Skytimes June 30, 2011 at 15:04 #

    How exiting!! Congratulations… loving the good news. I would kill for a balcony like that… super lovely awesome! Crossing my fingers for everything else… xoxo

  23. A. June 30, 2011 at 20:11 #

    Hey Mo – just reading through my comments. I keep Shabbat so unfortunately no Suede concert for me. We should definitely meet up some time in Tel Aviv, though!

  24. AK June 30, 2011 at 20:58 #

    Yay, new place! I want more pictures!

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