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Anniversary Week Post 1: How We Met

20 May

So I’ve been bad about blogging in general. I guess existential crises easily explained by sitcom metaphors will do that to a person. Plus Shmerson and I apparently have the plague, because we’ve both been pretty non-functioning sick for the last week.

Still, I kind of don’t feel like talking about That right now. I know it and its repercussions will be taking up plenty of blog space here in the near future.

Instead, I want to focus on the fact that exactly 7 days from today, Shmerson and I will be celebrating our one year anniversary. This wasn’t the first year of marriage either of us imagined – running to emergency rooms, spending most of our time grieving.

But it has made us stronger, and I want to celebrate that with you this week. Starting with telling you all the story of how Shmerson and I became what our friends fondly call us: “The Shmersons.” Today, I’d like to tell you how we met.

Facebook. Yes. You read it right. Shmerson and I met through an app called “Are You Interested.”

If you would have told me a few years ago that I would meet my husband on a silly FB app used mostly for booty calls I would have laughed in your face. But so it goes.

Basically, the app works like this – you set parameters: Age range, location, and such. Then the app shows you pictures. You click on people who you think are cute. If you click on someone, and they click on you as well, you get a notification and you guys can start communicating.

Now – mind you, I was pretty jaded with dating in general, and online dating specifically at this point. It had become an endless parade of guidos and assholes. But I’m not one for singles bars, and I work from home, so I kept at it.

After two particularly disastrous weeks with a 40 year old divorced film director (and a pretty crappy director to boot) that I had met on Jdate, I log on to the app, and see this picture:

“Not too bad” I think to myself. Plus – I have a long hair fetish. I have since I was 10 years old and saw Mike Patton for the first time in the music video for Faith No More’s “Epic”.

My picture on the app at the time was this one:

Needless to say – this was during one of my relatively skinny phases. Not half bad.

So I clicked away, and immediately got a pop-up saying that we have a match!

Mind you, I was still jaded from the 40 year old filmmaking hack. But I checked out pony-tail guy’s facebook profile and was pretty ok with it. Coen Brothers fan, “Lost” obsessed, listens to Pink Floyd, REM and Radiohead, and studies at the Israeli equivalent of MIT – so definitely smart. Hopefully not a sex-crazed asshole, doesn’t look like a guido, and not a filmmaking hack. So that’s definitely progress.

So starts a month long facebook message exchange. Yes, a month. Like I said before, I was jaded.

And our relationship almost didn’t happen. And it’s all Karl Marx’s fault.

We were talking about music and books. I had mentioned having a secret love of 80’s hair metal, and that I loved the Harry Potter series, had just finished a book by Coelho, and I adore Paul Auster.

Shmerson wrote back something like (and I’m paraphrasing here): “I don’t really know 80’s hair metal, and I think the Harry Potter books are ok**. I don’t get why people like Coelho so much. As far as authors go, I really like reading Marx.”

Now – this is a moment in which I need to explain a bit about Hebrew. “Marx” is spelled exactly the same way as “Marquez” – as in Gabriel Garcia Marquez – author of one of the most beautiful books ever written – “100 Years of Solitude”.

But I read it as Marx (which when I finally told him about, made him burst out in a fit of laughter). Plus – he had just downplayed the harry potter series, and said he didn’t know hair metal.

I read that message and decided this long haired “Lost” obsessive was a pretentious a-hole. I mean, who brags about reading communist manifestos? That’s just weird. I had just had a short-lived relationship implode with another pretentious a-hole.

So I didn’t write him back.

And it would have ended there.

Except, Shmerson, who was usually incredibly insecure, decided on whim to persist. When I didn’t answer, he waited about a week and then wrote me a short message giving me an out: “Still busy with work?”

I gave in, I wrote back, and our FB courtship continued. To this day Shmerson jokes that if it wasn’t for his deciding to write that second message, well – who knows where we’d be. But such is fate. Or randomness. Or whatever I believe in (darn it Mo leave your existential crisis at the door today, will you?).

Aaaaaanyway, I remember that sometime during this month Me0Me came for a sleepover and I told him about this guy I was talking to on facebook. We hadn’t met yet. I said to him “I’ve been saying my first name with his last name to myself in the last couple of weeks. And I haven’t even met the guy. Isn’t that weird?”

I guess now that I actually do have his last name – it’s not that weird. At the time, Me0Me took it in stride. I found out later that, at the time, Shmerson was just about as jaded as I was, and had decided that most likely nothing significant would come out of our exchange, but hell – at least maybe he can get laid from this thing (mind you, in his defense, this was generally a very un-shmerson-like thought)***.

It was finally time to meet but neither of us wanted to put too much pressure on the whole situation. A band that I had recently directed a music video for was performing in town, so I suggested he come to the show, and “bring a few friends” if he wanted. Basically a non-date (today we refer to it as our “Zero Date” since we hadn’t wanted it to count as a date when we first planned it).

16 people showed up at that club. Luckily, Shmerson was among them (sans friends). After a rather lame set by the band, we hung out with them a bit, I took a couple of hits off their pot, playing it cool. Turns out Shmerson wasn’t a pot smoker. I really wasn’t either. Ahh well. After a while the band piled into their van and I suggested Shmerson and I hit a coffee shop. At that point we hadn’t really talked much.

We got to the coffee shop – and I basically knew it was meant to be the moment the waiter walked up to us and we both ordered cokes. Neither of us likes coffee.

We talked for several hours. One of those really awesome conversations. Sometime during it I decided that I am a 28 year old woman, and I’m done playing games. It was the most open and honest first date conversation I had ever had. We clicked immediately. After about 3 hours Shmerson dropped me off at home. And we had our first kiss.

At 3am I call Squish.

“He dropped me off 20 minutes ago and I can’t stop smiling.”

And just like that – I knew I had met the man I was going to marry.

Yes – through a freakin’ Facebook App.

It’s not knight in shining armor romantic, I know. But heck – at least it involves communist manifestos and a pot-smoking band, right?

Tomorrow – how Shmerson came over for Valentine’s Day weekend and never left. 

** I am happy to report that since that exchange, Shmerson has changed his mind and is now a big Harry Potter fan. I think it’s kind of hard not to be when your wife has read the books so many times she may have set a world record.

***Shmerson later told me that the “just getting laid” thing went straight out the window the moment we started to really talk. I mean – I’m sure he still was hoping to get laid, he was at the time a 26 year old man and that is very much a justifiable motivation. But to his credit, he didn’t even try to cop a feel by the end of the night. So I tend to believe him.

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14 Responses to “Anniversary Week Post 1: How We Met”

  1. missohkay May 20, 2011 at 03:39 #

    This is a fantastic story! Can’t wait for the next installment.

  2. Christina May 20, 2011 at 03:41 #

    I love “how we met” stories! The Boy and I also met online, way before it was cool and over AOL instant messenger.
    Hope ya’ll feel better soon!

  3. Dawn May 20, 2011 at 06:28 #

    Love your story! I also love Marquez! 100 years in one of my favorites. 🙂

  4. Marie May 20, 2011 at 08:42 #

    I ALSO don’t see what the big deal with Coelho is, although I do love that quote about “when you can’t go back, the only thing you have to worry about is the best way of moving forward.”

    I think you should make a seven-day meme, and call it the Anniversary Week meme, and I will do it in September and Dawn will do it in October, and everyone else can do it whenever their anniversaries are, and we’ll all get these nice week-long breaks from talking about That.

  5. Flowergirl May 20, 2011 at 09:32 #

    Ah, that’s a lovely story.

  6. me0me May 20, 2011 at 16:19 #

    It’s amazing how in hindsight your guys’ coming together seems like the universe fixing a glitch, like it’s silly that it was ever any other way. AND it’s interesting to note that, like many long lasting wonderful companionships, persistence is key. Go Shmerson!

  7. zygotta May 20, 2011 at 16:51 #

    it’s far more romantic than all those stories that we heard a million times, in my opinion

    loved the “marx” confusion, btw :)))

    great story, great guy!

  8. bodegabliss May 20, 2011 at 17:58 #

    yay! i loved this story! you guys are just so adorable.

    and can i just say (and this will not surprise you): i totally have a long-hair obsession. which, i think you knew when i was trying to convince mr. shmerson not to cut his hair a while ago, but still! it was worth mentioning again. and i totally love 80’s hair bands.

    can’t wait to hear the next part!

  9. myskytimes May 20, 2011 at 18:41 #

    Thanks for sharing this… it was a real pleasure to read – even as a single girl (jaded as well) with a dislike for fb. I like those non-dates as well and opt for a dozen of those anytime over a regular 1-on-1. I met my crazy ex due a filmworthy story (which kept me from breaking up many times) so I’m opting for “normal” meeting, as in supermarket or post-office nowadays.

    Sigh… maybe one day I will find someone I “like” enough to not run away from. I mean, getting laid is fine and dandy… but eventually I want to go for something more substantial as well.

    Thanks from your single friend. Happy Anniversary Week, dear Shmersons! xoxo

  10. AK May 20, 2011 at 20:44 #

    Jeez. You look so young in that pic. Years go fast. And I miss you guys!

    • Mo May 20, 2011 at 21:42 #

      We miss you too. But now I feel OLD 😦

  11. Mo May 20, 2011 at 21:41 #

    Thanks ladies! 🙂

  12. Kristin May 21, 2011 at 03:02 #

    Love, love, love your story and I’m so glad to finally have found your flaw. How can you not like coffee?!?!?!

    • Mo May 21, 2011 at 10:16 #

      For me, it involves my first cup at 7am after being out at a K’s choice concert until 3am, and how that cup unceremoniously left my body a few hours later (I was 18). Shmerson’s actually kind of over his dislike of coffee these days. He had just never gotten around to drinking it properly. I know, we’re weird!

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