2 May

Hi All,

So I think this is a new record for not posting – I mean, it’s been like two days! That hardly ever happens!

I’m just a bit out of it. And with good healthy reasons! So – here’s a quick update and after that I need your feedback!

So – I went to Dr. Happy Pills two days ago and switched from zoloft to lexapro. It was my decision to try it because I felt like zoloft was only doing half the job (as in dealing only with my depression and not doing as well with the anxiety), and now that we are on a forced TTC hiatus, I figured it was a good time to give lexapro a try. So I’ve spent the last couple of days kind of weird because of the med transition. I’m hoping things will even out in a week or so. This is the downside of happy pills – the adjustment period. Fortunately, since I’m already on one form of SSRI it won’t nearly be as bad as last time.

I had a weak moment yesterday and I actually smoked a cigarette. It was after spending an entire afternoon with my awesome nephew – but also surrounded with like – hundreds of other parents with their kids and I think it just became a bit much so I broke down after my brother dropped me off. But I haven’t really wanted one since so I’m just blaming the lexapro for now. I’m trying not to get too mad at myself. I mean – I’ve had a crappy couple of weeks. I deserve one moment of weakness, right? Right? (This is where you comment that you’re not mad and it’s ok that I had that one and your forgive me. K. Thanks)

There’s still one more thing I’m kind of dreading and that’s going back to yoga finally tomorrow and telling my instructor about what happened. He’s going to want to know why I’ve been gone for two weeks and of course I’m going to need to tell him. I know it’s not going to be fun. I kind of feel like I need to get past this already. And I kind of already am. I think. So I want to get all the “technicalities” over with.

Speaking of those – I’m down to very light spotting and I’m thinking of going in tomorrow for another beta. I’m not sure if I should wait until tuesday or even later just to be sure that they’ll be down to zero when I test – but again – I want to get this over with! I guess I’ll decide tomorrow when I wake up. I really want them down to zero already.

I don’t want you guys to misunderstand – I’m not completely down. I’ve been productive, I’ve been active, I’ve been leaving the house. I think that’s a huge accomplishment considering what’s been going on (the last time I couldn’t function for two months). I’m just – I guess I’m in a lexapro transition haze. Or in denial. Time will tell. (I’m also not trying to force myself to handle things in a certain way. I think that’s the best approach. I don’t know how I’m “supposed” to feel. So I’m just feeling what I’m feeling). Ahh well.

Now for a little blog housekeeping:

1) I have given Shmerson his own user on the blog. He’s now officially authorized to post without having to go through me. I just thought it was time. I know the muse is upon him sometimes so I figured why the hell not? So yes – you may see him around here a bit more often and slightly less censored (Ok – I don’t really censor him. Right? RIGHT?!?? Shmerson this is where you chime in in the comments and tell me that of course I don’t and I’ve the best wife ever).

2) I want to update my blogroll! It’s completely out of date and I know it! The thing is – I follow about 50 ALI blogs, and of course that includes every person who I know reads this blog regularly (Hi lurkers who don’t comment! know you are loved as well!). I know a few of you have put me on your blogrolls (thanks!) and I really want to reciprocate. But I also don’t want my blogroll to be completely useless because it’s so freaking long. So – first thing’s first:

If you want to be added to my blogroll please let me know in the comments or by using the handy contact page linked above.

And I want your opinion: Should I keep my blogroll in the sidebar? Or should I get all stirrup-queeny on your butts and do a whole separate page? Because seriously – I follow like 50 blogs at this point and if I put them all in – well, then we’ll be having some trouble.

Vote Below!

That’s all for today folks. Hoping to be out of the lexapro haze soon!

9 Responses to “Housekeeping”

  1. me0me May 2, 2011 at 00:37 #

    Very proud of you for only breaking down once, and hope any other time you feel weak you’ll go here
    Gonna read it myself next cause I’ve slipped a couple of times since I got back home (bad bad bad me!!!)
    Also proud of you for just letting yourself feel whatever you’re feeling. I think that’s amazing. I think it’s really a good place to be. Good luck with finishing with the clinical stuff and getting back to yoga!

    • Mo May 2, 2011 at 00:52 #

      thanks babe I needed that reminder. Love you.

  2. Kristin May 2, 2011 at 02:29 #

    With everything you’ve gone through recently, slipping up only once is phenomenal.

    And, even though my blogroll is unwieldy and ridiculously long, I keep it in my side bar because that is the ONLY way I remember to check the blogs I read. I don’t know if there is something like this for wordpress, but Blogger has a blogroll feature that automatically rotated the most currently updated blog to the top. It also allows me to set it to only show the 25 most currently updated blogs.

  3. BleedingTulip May 2, 2011 at 05:12 #

    Hey gal!
    1-you are still loved for the cigarette thing. I have a clove on occasion… on those really down stressful days.
    2-I love that your hubby will be writing posts! I think it’s so great how involved he is with this blog.
    3-I would be honored to be added to your blogroll. But I also see my blog as being… not so great. I’m a little directionless at the moment as we try to work through infertility baggage in our marriage and wait for our move in July. So I understand if my blog is duller than dull. I’ve been meaning to put together my own blogroll but I get confused by the widget. That will be a project for another day, I just want to get caught up on all my blogs I haven’t read for a week!

  4. slcurwin May 2, 2011 at 06:38 #

    Hey, we’ll never not love you for slipping. And I’m not just saying that cause I have the occational cigarette too.
    And dont forget there is no way you’re supposed to act and jumping out of a trash can to scare people for stress releif is a viable option if you want to go the crazier route. Just sos you knows. Love you.

  5. stacey May 2, 2011 at 06:48 #

    One lil slip up is nothing given your terrible few weeks!
    I didn’t vote but I’m thinking you just pick blogs you absolutely like and linking to them. Its pretty much what I do then any other blogs I just lurker at through other peoples blog rolls. I think I follow about 12 blogs and thats plenty for me to keep up with!
    Anywho feel free to add me to your roll but don’t feel like you have to 🙂

  6. Marie May 2, 2011 at 13:33 #

    If I had easy access to cigarettes, I might occasionally smoke one. Wait… I do have easy access. But if I had easy access that was free, and that didn’t require me to admit to someone else that I wanted one of their cigarettes, and if I had a lighter.

    So, one slip up is forgiven – just as long as it doesn’t send you into a habit-forming downward spiral.

    And I agree with above poster – just blogroll your favorites. You can take me off, at least until I get a new blog together, which you’re going to help me do 😀


  7. zygotta May 2, 2011 at 13:57 #

    I’m glad to see your energy level going up. You’re a very strong girl!

    PS Looking forward to independent Shmerson’s posts 🙂

    PPS I am relatively new here and don’t even know what a blogroll is. Therefore, didn’t participate in your poll.

  8. Poor Lucky Me May 2, 2011 at 23:00 #

    One cigarette is a good reminder of why you don’t smoke everyday. I have a cig every once in a while just to gross myself out.

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