24 Hours. I Need Some Answers

21 Apr

Weird. I had a whole post written and when I hit publish the text was gone.

So here we go re-creating it.

I’m doing ok. I think I’m still a bit numb. I’ve spent the last 24 hours mostly comforting other people and ensuring them that I’m fine.

And I think I am. I mean, I feel like I have at least one hardcore emotional post in me and at least one breakdown. But I’m not there yet and this isn’t it.

First I really want to thank everybody. I’ve seen the hitcount, and it’s amazing the amount of comments and emails I’ve been getting. Thank you guys for being there. I think that’s a huge part of why I’m ok.

But I need you guys to be here for just a little bit more…

Right now I need some answers. I’m hoping you all can help me with that.

It’s been about 30 hours since my Metho shot. I’m not bleeding at all, and I’m not having any side effects. I won’t be able to get another beta until Sunday, and I’m worried that the shot isn’t working or something. Nothing is scaring me more than a rupture. So please – anyone who’s been through this – tell me what to expect and if I should be worried at this point.

I also need some hope and a plan. Does metho affect my egg supply? What should our next steps be? Anyone been through this and want to share a success story?

This is apparently my second ectopic. I’ve read that I should be getting an HSG, and if there’s a blockage I may get lap surgery, but that this leaves scar tissue and we’re still at risk for another ectopic. Is this true? I don’t know if I can handle another one. What can we do to make this better? Should we consider IVF at this point?

It’s blatantly obvious that getting preggo has not been an issue. Could it be an issue now with the Metho?

We’re really lucky in that we have major supplemental insurance that will most likely cover anything we need. Please tell me what to look for, what to ask for, what to expect.

I’m just really scared guys. I need to know what I’m up against.

Thank you all. Thank you for your support and comments and emails. I don’t know where I would be right now if it wasn’t for this community. I can’t thank you enough.

15 Responses to “24 Hours. I Need Some Answers”

  1. bodegabliss April 21, 2011 at 18:07 #

    I wish I had some answers for you, but I know very little about all of this. So instead I’ll give you just another reminder that I’m here and I love you.


  2. Sarah April 21, 2011 at 19:48 #

    Hi Mo,

    I’ve been thinking about you a lot, but have never commented so I didn’t want to intrude these last few days. I usually comment on Elphie’s blog as it is closer to my own story. But man – I am so sorry about what has been happening to you.

    I’ll share a little from my own experience with ectopics and MTX. For my last one (two prior MCs), my beta in the ER was around the same as yours, which they said meant it was small and a rupture was unlikely. I had two shots at once, but can’t remember the dosage.

    Here is what I remember from last year, with some things from my RE added:
    – didn’t get side effects right away, then cramps/soreness on the affected side for a few days, with light period-like bleeding for about two weeks
    – lots of small clots, which she (RE) assured me were *just* clots (based on my beta)which helped me not lose my shit
    – stop taking folic acid right away and no alcohol as MTX competes with the body for folic acid as it’s mechanism of action (it has many other uses besides just ectopics)
    – had serial betas done every two days until it went to zero
    – shouldn’t affect your egg supply at all (as per my RE)
    – RE was very optimistic that MTX rather than surgery was in our favour
    – wait at least three months before trying again, and at least two ‘regular’ periods (as per my RE)

    I have PCOS, so ‘regular’ periods are elusive. BUT I did have an actual regular cycle afterward, so who knows?

    Okay – and you wondered if there could be a success story… after the three months my RE did do an HSG, as well as a falloposcopy and found no lasting damage or scar tissue. All clear. Dr. said do one more round of carefully monitored Clomid (mostly to monitor the ovary) and then onto IVF consult. Went back on Clomid the same month, and got a BFP. Which ended up in the right place this time. We are 35 weeks now and can barely believe it every day.

    Hope this helps you in some small way. This is just the worst – I’m so sorry.

    Definitely keep a running list of questions for Dr. Twofer.

    • AK April 21, 2011 at 21:31 #

      Well, I’m obviously not Mo- but even I’m encouraged by that story. Had to say it. Congratulations to you. Keep up hope, Mo. Love you!

      • eighteenyears April 21, 2011 at 22:35 #

        That was a great story to share. Thanks for posting that.

    • mommyodyssey April 21, 2011 at 22:42 #

      wow. Thank you so so much! I shared this with Shmerson too. Thank you thank you!

  3. slcurwin April 21, 2011 at 19:50 #

    Oh hun, there is nothing I can say here. I have no first hand experience with ectopics and I’m terrified that it’s only a matter of time with my luck (lack there of). I’m so sorry you are going through this again.

  4. Poor Lucky Me April 21, 2011 at 21:05 #

    Just here to tell you I’m sorry, and I’ll be hopeful for you. So when you feel like you don’t have any hope left in you, please know that someone in the universe has you covered.

    • mommyodyssey April 21, 2011 at 22:43 #

      That was one of the sweetest comments I’ve ever gotten. Thank you.

  5. Fucking Infertility April 21, 2011 at 22:17 #

    When I had MTX, the only side effect was mild heartburn the day of the shot. I only spotted at first.

    (I live in Germany.) Here they recommend waiting a full six months after MTX to start trying again. I think three months is standard in the US. I waited a full six.

    I haven’t heard of HSGs leaving scarring. I have heard of people getting pregnant right after because it cleared their tubes, but this could just be anecdotal evidence and not mean much, I’m not sure.

    My doctor was already talking IVF with me after my 2nd ectopic. Since they had both been on the same side, we proceeded with monthly ultrasound monitoring before ovulation to see what side I was going to ovulate on. We only tried to conceive on the months that I ovulated on the non-ectopic side. After my 3rd ectopic, even when an HSG-like test (here they do a sonography with sugar contrast that performs the same function) showed that my tubes were completely clear and healthy-looking, three doctors all recommended proceeding with IVF. Were both of your ectopics on the same side?

    Unfortunately I can’t share a personal success story yet, but there’s no reason to believe it can’t happen, so we have to believe that it can. I wish you the best.

    • mommyodyssey April 21, 2011 at 22:42 #

      thanks for the info. Crossing my fingers for both of us!

    • Sarah April 21, 2011 at 22:53 #

      I’ve also read that sometimes conception is improved after an HSG, both because ‘things gets cleared out’ and the super-scientific ‘seems to jump start things’. My RE went with Option B in our case. There are clinical studies that support this outcome, but they have no idea why it ‘works’, though I’m pretty sure I don’t care about that second part.

      If anything at all, an HSG after you are physically recovered will give you some answers and hopefully some peace of mind.

  6. Julia April 21, 2011 at 22:41 #

    Wow, yes. I totally relate with these feelings. It’s a rough experience that no one who hasn’t done it can relate with. I hope your recovery goes as smoothly as it can, and that you are taking time for yourself.
    Hang in there!
    ICLW #3

  7. On Standby April 22, 2011 at 04:25 #

    Here from ICLW (#111) and so sorry to hear about the loss you are experiencing. I don’t have any ectopic experiences, but am also a RPL veteran trying to cope with multiple losses and where to go from here. Thinking of you! Hugs!

  8. Jax April 22, 2011 at 14:31 #

    Hiya, I’m another of Elphaba’s followers..I’m just over to share a few words of support. Firstly I’m so very sorry for what you’re going through just now. It sucks so bad, and you have the right to shout, scream, cry, do whatever you need to get through this. Thankfully someone else has been able to answer the questions you posed. The only thing I can offer is I had 2 ectopics, the last did rupture losing me a tube and ovary and I was then told I would be an IVF candidate. However, a few months after the surgery, I got pregnant and it was a successful pregnancy. So despite multiple miscarriages, 2 ectopics, a very dodgy womb which was all stuck together with bad cells, so with only one dodgy ovary that kept having big cysts and masses of scar tissue from multiple abdo surgeries I managed. So please don’t give up hope for the future. It can happen for you too. For now the main thing is to take the time you need to heal yourself, emotionally most of all.

    I’ll say a prayer for you.

    Thinking of you and your husband.

    Love, Jax Xxx

  9. Mali April 27, 2011 at 03:27 #

    Hi. I’m visiting from ICLW and so sorry to arrive seeing you write about methotrexate and other things I know so well. I’ve had two ectopics, and found the Ectopic Pregnancy Trust website (just google it) to be incredibly helpful, especially through my second ep and after it. They’re a UK Trust, but help people all over the world (I’m from NZ). Their information is peer reviewed, and based on best practice, so you can’t find a better resource. They also have forums for those of us experiencing ectopics or trying again afterwards, and these are so supportive. There are advisors there to answer your questions too. Best wishes

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