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My Response Letter to PETA

7 Apr

I’m in a crappy mood today. So I’m sure you can all guess how happy I was to receive what was obviously a form letter from PETA regarding the protest email I sent them yesterday. (For those of you who don’t know what I’m talking about – click here)

So, I won’t copy and past their stupid form letter here, but it was basically them telling me that it’s legitimate that men get vasectomies, that I should just adopt, oh – and they asked me to donate money to them! Lovely.

They signed it “the PETA staff”

Thanks guys. Real personable of you.

So – since I’m in complete and total hostile bitch mode today, I figured, what the hell – I may as well take out my hostilities on these assholes.

So before I reveal my – ehem – polite letter to them, let me suggest some choice viewing in the form of a rather scathing expose on PETA done by the show Penn & Teller: Bullshit a couple of years back. Check out part one here and the rest can be found on that sidebar.

Anyway – without further ado, my hormonal bitchy response:

Dear PETA Staff,

Thank you for the form letter, which I assume you have sent out to the hundreds if not thousands of angry women who have contacted you in the last 24 hours. I’m sure the copying and pasting is getting very tiring for your mouse hand.

Unfortunately, you are ignorant of the point we as a community are trying to make.

Give away as many vasectomies as you’d like.

Just don’t do it to “honor” Infertility awareness week.

I suggest that if you are so passionate about the issue of animal adoption, next time you want to create a buzz,  offer to help a childless couple adopt.

I would love to take in an abandoned and neglected child, and give them the love and the home they need.

That process however, costs about as much as it would to feed and clothe that child for about a decade, and alas, I don’t have access to those kinds of funds, and therefore hold on to hope that my currently unfriendly and barren uterus will eventually be able to hold on to a baby that I have created, so that I have an outlet for that love sometime before I rob a bank.

Countless  Infertile women spend their days in shame and darkness, and you making light of their medical condition doesn’t make things any better for them, and makes you look like ignorant bastards.

If you’re so concerned about the overpopulation of the planet, why don’t you mandate all of your pregnant employees to have abortions?

Because that’s about as sensitive and intelligent as your vasectomy campaign. And I’m sure all of your female employees will go right along with it because of their lofty ideals.

You people are a bunch of freaks. I don’t know why anybody supports you at this point. I hope you enjoy alienating some of the biggest animal lovers on the planet because of your sensationalism and ignorance.

Oh – and fuck you.

Sincerely,

Me

Ahh – I love the smell of flame emails in the morning (especially when I’m in raging hormonal bitch mode).

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12 Responses to “My Response Letter to PETA”

  1. bodegabliss April 8, 2011 at 00:56 #

    I’m so glad you ladies are fighting this. I want to fight along with you all, but I have a hard time doing things like this when I don’t think it will make a difference. I suck in other words, because that is a lame LAME excuse. I mean, would anything get changed in this world if we all had that attitude? I think not! So I’ll do some more thinking on it, and we’ll see what I end up doing.

    It’s just…..I really really hate PETA and their tactics (and you know I’m an animal lover: hello cows!). And I think that has a lot to do with why I don’t even want to address it because I don’t want anything to do with them. But that’s lame of me because this issue is a passion of mine (as you know), and I would do anything to contribute to the fight of it. So really, I’m just a walking conundrum.

    • mommyodyssey April 8, 2011 at 01:00 #

      you may be a conundrum but we love you nonetheless

  2. deepdreamer April 8, 2011 at 02:24 #

    My friend sent in a response to what was posted on thier site. I found the whole competition disgusting. Good for you for saying what needs to be said.

  3. Gurlee April 8, 2011 at 04:09 #

    Your response is fucking brilliant.
    Hope you don’t mind the F-bomb.

    • mommyodyssey April 8, 2011 at 16:50 #

      LOL – I curse like a trucker. fuckity fuck fuck have a ball. 🙂

  4. Kristin April 8, 2011 at 08:01 #

    I like your raging bitch mode. Rant on!

  5. Cattiz J April 8, 2011 at 09:53 #

    Yeah, ‘flame emails in the morning’, wonderful. It would be interesting to know how many emails and responses they have gotten the last few days. Ha, guess they had no idea what this would start.

    • mommyodyssey April 8, 2011 at 16:52 #

      I’m hoping we drown them in it to the point where they get bankrupt. But that’s just my wishful thinking 🙂

  6. me0me April 8, 2011 at 15:51 #

    Just have to say, the “Oh – and fuck you” made my morning.

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