Three Weeks! Get Off Your Freakin’ Butt!

8 Feb

Ok – a conversation with myself is coming up, but first, two non-related things that I wanted to share with you and don’t justify a whole separate post.

1) I made an appointment today with a tattoo artist for March 1st. I’m really excited about it, actually. It really feels right to do this. Though the poor guy answering the phone was a bit freaked out by how adamant I was to get this precise date. Ahh well, I guess they don’t get many recurrent miscarriers wanting to memorialize their lost babies on their intended due date.

Aaaand moving on to a lighter note:

2) warning – this is a cute story but a: it’s most likely NSFW, so read fast b: if you are a guy who is reading this, well, skip over this next part because it is TMI (I’m talking to you, big brother o’mine! Me0me, rolig, you can probably handle it).

So inspired by a post Elphaba put up a while ago I am using sanitary pads now in lieu of tampons. Just so you understand this in context – I even used to sleep with tampons. This is how much I hated pads. But when Aunt Flo showed up this week I decided to give the napkins a whirl. It’s been a bit awkward to say the least.

So I get out of the shower and realize I didn’t bring underwear with me. I ask shmerson to bring me a pair so that I can put on a pad and not “drip all over the floor”.

He answers: Gross.

I answer: Listen – that stuff coming out of my hooch is the same stuff your child will be made in, so you better learn to love it.

After nearly choking on his apple juice, he mentions that it was rather remarkable that I can say that to him without feeling embarrassed (as in – hey we’re a pretty cool couple to be that open with each other). I said – ha! I’ll go even better! I’ll post it on my blog! I believe he was skeptical that I was actually going to do it. (thank goodness this thing is anonymous).

Not sure how much he’s going to like reading about this in the morning. (Shmerson I love you, you love me – now learn to love my many discharges).

Ok big bro – you can start reading from here.

Now on to the main event…..

Me: You do realize that you have three weeks to go before that big development grant deadline?

Me: mmmhmmm.

Me: hey! Listen up!

Me: mmmm what? Oh, sorry I had a long day and I was watching scrubs. What were you saying?

Me: urgh. I was saying that there are three weeks to go before we have to turn in a five page synopsis, and you promised me that we would spend the weekend watching “Go”, “Rashomon” and “The Usual Suspects” for some inspiration on story structure.

Me; yeah, so? we’ve seen them already. Me tired. Me want to watch Zach Braff making silly faces.

Me: We watched them ages ago, and we need to watch them in context. And we need to get this thing written! Come on – we actually have a good shot at this grant if we get this done. It’s for a movie AIMED AT TEENAGERS. This is what we do, remember? It’s our thing. Now get off your scrubs kick and go watch some Kirosawa!

Me: But it’s Japanese and black and white. Bo-ring!

Me: It’s a masterpiece. you know that. What’s your deal?

Me: *whiny* I don’t wanna write!

Me: You’re writing right now.

Me: yeah, but this doesn’t count. This isn’t my career.

Me: ahh – I get it.

Me: What – the joke Zach Braff just said? of course you do – it’s kind of easy. he’s imagining chocolate land, and turk is there, so he breaks off turk’s hand and eats it….

Me: Yo! stop changing the subject! You are terrified aren’t you?

Me: Of Zach Braff? Nahh he’s pretty cute.

Me: No – you are terrified of getting back to writing real stuff. Movies. You know – those things they screen  in public, and they have your name on them right where it says “written and directed by..”

Me: Oh, yeah. That.

Me: come on, admit it. You’re scared.

Me: ok. fine. I’m close to peeing my pants here.

Me: Well get over it!

Me: Easier said than done, homeskillet.

Me: We can’t pull that nickname off.

Me: Ok fine. Stil….

Me: let’s just admit we’re terrified and take it one step at a time. Will you agree to watch Rashomon tomorrow?

Me: no. Black and white. Subtitles. Blech.

Me: Ok fine. Let’s start small. “Go” has drugs and partying. Light an fluffy. No subtitles. Can we start with that? No writing. Just research. And I’ll even let you eat some oreos.

Me: with milk?

Me: yes.

Me: Ok. Deal.

PS – I just noticed that this is my hundredth post! Woohoo! yay me!! 🙂

13 Responses to “Three Weeks! Get Off Your Freakin’ Butt!”

  1. Elphaba February 8, 2011 at 01:30 #

    “Listen – that stuff coming out of my hooch is the same stuff your child will be made in, so you better learn to love it.” I burst out laughing at this!

    Now go get to work!

  2. me0me February 8, 2011 at 01:47 #

    Your dialogues are f’in hillarious (look at me watching my mouth! 🙂 and that was a good scene, and I’m quite proud to say the intro was correct! Now I hope to fuck you’re working.

    • mommyodyssey February 9, 2011 at 00:35 #

      For shame! *soap in mouth*
      I’m f’ing working but not on the f’ing script! See my latest post.

  3. Hemlock February 8, 2011 at 02:14 #

    Hehehe… awesome, and Gratz on the 100th post!! 😀

  4. slcurwin February 8, 2011 at 03:54 #

    Listen – that stuff coming out of my hooch is the same stuff your child will be made in, so you better learn to love it.

    I laughed so hard my arms slipped off my knees and I accidentally punched myself in the neck and started gagging. I dont know how it happened, but I thought you’d appreciate the sentiment.

  5. Marie February 8, 2011 at 14:25 #

    Good luck, homeskillet.

    And what was SLC doing reading blogs on her knees?

    • mommyodyssey February 9, 2011 at 00:33 #

      I’m assuming that having monster around and her hubby out of town pretty much requires her to function at floor level.

      • slcurwin February 9, 2011 at 03:16 #

        lol, no, I just dont sit like a lady in my chair.

  6. mommyodyssey February 9, 2011 at 00:32 #

    LOL. I really need to find a way to work that line into a movie some day.

    • me0me February 9, 2011 at 19:16 #


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