Dude, Seriously?

22 Jan

Yeah I call myself dude sometimes. I like the word “dude”. Could be from all of those years living in California – though I’m sure that the whole “calling myself dude” thing is a bit detrimental to my whole re-claiming my femininity kick. Ahh well.

Me: 16 and pregnant is a stupid stupid show. Why are we watching it?

Me: Um – morbid curiosity?

Me: Ok – that’s good for one episode. But six in a row? We have better things to do with our time.

Me: Well we were cooking and doing laundry at the same time.

Me: Ok – then we have better things to watch. Like American Idol, or Chuck, or Community….

Me: But this show makes me feel both bitter and superior at the same time! ‘sall good, dude, really.

Me: ehem – no it’s not.

Me: Ok – I admit it kind of gets me upset to see these incompetent and irresponsible children being miraculously fertile and not understanding the meaning of the word “condom”.

Me; yes, go on, you’re on the right track.

Me: But I like making fun of them!

Me: ehem – remember – I’m in your head with you. You can’t fool me.

Me: oh, right, yeah, I forgot about that.

Me: You’re not making fun of them. You are bitterly jealous.

Me: I’m not bitter.

Me: Don’t lie.

Me: Really! I’m not!

Me: Dude, seriously.

Me: Ok fine. I’m bitter.

Me: there we go. Progress.

Me: Ok – but can watch just one more episode?

Me: no. you’re making us miserable.

Me: Pretty please with a cherry on top?

Me: No. I command you to stop it and go watch Chuck.

Me: You’re not the boss of me!

Me: Actually I am.

Me: Aren’t we supposed to be like, equal or something?

Me: no. You are irrational and self-destructive.

Me: *pout* But I make good oatmeal chocolate chip cookies.

Me: nope- WE do. Stop hogging all the credit.

Me: Fine you’re still not the boss of me.

Me: Ok I’m not – but I’m gonna win this one so you might as well give up.

Me: No! Never! Yay watching teenaged girls destroy their lives!

Me: No. Boo. Yay watching camera hogging delusional people sing off-key in front of Steven Tyler!

Me: Oh – Steven Tyler?

Me: yes.

Me: will you let me bake some of those cookies too?

Me: No. But we can have some low-fat microwave popcorn.

Me: Dude, you suck.

Me: you’ll thank me later.

Me: Yeah, we’ll see about that.

10 Responses to “Dude, Seriously?”

  1. slcurwin January 22, 2011 at 23:55 #

    Just put extra butter on that popcorn to take the low fat part out. 😉

  2. Tiffany January 23, 2011 at 03:13 #

    When it seemed like everyone around me was making little “Oops! We’re pregnant again!” announcements and we were having a series of pregnancy losses I had a love-hate relationship with those baby shows on TLC. I also held a serious grudge against the Duggar family: all those kids and only one miscarriage?!

    Anyway, reading this post made me feel a little less cuckoo to have been upset at those people. 😉

    (hopped over from IComLeavWe)

    • mommyodyssey January 23, 2011 at 11:04 #

      Hi Tiffany,
      Thanks for dropping by! I’m glad that I’m not alone in my crazy. 🙂

  3. Marie January 23, 2011 at 05:52 #

    Or put chocolate chips on the popcorn.

    That fucking show. It’s glamorizing teen pregnancy. And the last thing we need in real life is more pregnant teenagers waddling around. Seriously, dude. Don’t watch it. Ever. Again.

    • mommyodyssey January 23, 2011 at 11:05 #

      I won’t. I promise.
      Chocolate chips on popcorn – mmmmm….. *makes home simpson drooling noise*

  4. Hemlock January 23, 2011 at 10:45 #

    lol… I love your inner dialog posts!

    • mommyodyssey January 23, 2011 at 11:05 #

      thanks hemlock! 🙂

    • me0me January 25, 2011 at 21:13 #

      I’m with hemlock- they’re my favorite dialogue reading these days 🙂

  5. April January 24, 2011 at 17:17 #

    I have this same conversation with myself. Apparently I’m some type of masochist because I watch this show religiously. My last IVF 2WW there was a MARATHON on during on my bedrest days & of course I sat there and watched all of it.


  1. 16 reasons why I should hate “16 and pregnant” « mommyodyssey - January 28, 2011

    […] Me: I thought we had a deal. […]

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