19 Jan

I’m really frustrated I think upping the zoloft dosage is messing with me. I’ll confess that despite my somewhat cheery posts over the last few days, I’ve been feeling incredibly detached. I was really hoping that thursday was a turning point, but now I’m just feeling frustrated with this whole process.

I hate not being able to differentiate the zoloft side effects from my own feelings.

Here’s the story:

On Saturday, before we left Jerusalem to head home, we discovered that our bank account was overdrawn.

It’s a simple enough fix, and we’re taking care of it, but it’s just another blow to add to the several blows of reality I’ve received over the last couple of weeks.

The moment I was feeling well enough to function, reality hit me over the head and I feel like I’m falling into old bad patterns again and it’s driving me nuts.

I guess the upside is that I am, despite this, taking steps to get my career sorted out, and I’m functioning on a basic level – which is more than I could have said a month ago…

I know it’s a process but this whole two steps forward, one step back thing is driving me up the wall.

I’m trying my hardest to be patient with myself, but I feel like I’ve been in this crazy detached state ever since reality slipped back into the process.

I used to be so strong and deal with these kinds of things so easily – now, everything is making me anxious, and I have no idea if it’s a stupid zoloft increase side effect or really there.

Urgh. I hate this.

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