So yeah – it turns out the zoloft kind of stopped working somewhere around last thursday.
I was feeling detached, I was relying heavily on xanax, and I was basically anxiety ridden and with absolutely zero motivation.
I’d been taking half a pill (0.25 mg) a day, and I knew that I would eventually have to up the dosage to a full pill, but the shrink was trying to be careful about it because of the pretty awful reaction I had to them at first.
So just like that, when things were starting to look up, I was once again back to my old, no motivation, do nothing, then freak out about it pattern. Oh – and the food cravings came back too and I spent all week eating junk food.
And of course – the whole “not talking about it” thing came back as well. It’s amazing how easy it is to fall into old patterns.
Lucky enough – this time, I was aware enough to notice it today. I knew in my heart of hearts that it was time to go up to the normal dosage.
So I called my shrink, told him how I was feeling, and lo and behold, he said the same exact thing.
So starting today I’m on .50 mg of zoloft. I just hope I don’t have the same side effects as I did when I started. A friend with some experience with this stuff assures me that it won’t happen since the medication is already in my system. We shall see. Cross your fingers for me that this time it sticks!
But yeah, I’m pretty proud of myself for recognizing it and catching it in time. Yay me!
On another note – shmerson and I are going to the wedding tomorrow followed by a romantic weekend, so I tried on dresses and shoes today.
Three out of 7 fit me, which isn’t bad, though it could be better. I finally settled on a white number with black flowers and some simple black heels so I can go all out in the jewelry department. Yay ginormous earring!
My plan is to get to the hotel, take a long hot bubble bath, and then spend an hour on my hair and make up. Besides my wedding, I haven’t done that in over a year. Should be fun!
I think this calls for using your last bath bomb. Go all out. Make an entire weekend of luxery and fun. You both need it.