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Big Decisions

1 Jan

Ok – so last night, fairly close to midnight, I posted my one and only resolution for the year.

I have decided to stop working for my father and go my own way.

This is going to be freaking hard.

Let me explain. We have a small business – one that I basically run from home. My brother does some stuff for it, and my father – well, he basically yells. A lot.

I have been doing this for 4 years. And it has been a great excuse for me not to commit to any big life decisions regarding my career.

I hate what we do. It bores me to tears. I have to force myself to work every day. I am a talented person and working for him makes me feel like an incompetent nothing.

But he pays well. So I’ve stuck around.

No more. I’m done. And when I finally tell him this week – give my two month notice (because that is how long it’s going to take to figure out how to make the business function without me) – it will be hell. It will be a marathon of guilt and emotional manipulation.

But I’m done. I want to know what I want to be when I grow up. And it’s not being the emotional punching bag of my father. It’s time to grow up and move on.

I can’t do that as long as I’m under his thumb.

Let the freak out begin.

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3 Responses to “Big Decisions”

  1. runnyyolk January 1, 2011 at 16:52 #

    Take it from experience that money doesn’t matter if you’re not happy with what you’re doing. About three years ago, I made the major life decision to switch careers from one that paid really, really well, but that made me want to die to one that doesn’t pay nearly as well, but that inspires me and motivates me.

    I have never, ever regretted that decision.

    Good luck with your dad and don’t let him guilt you. It’s your life and remember you have to do this for the next 30 years at least!

  2. Marie January 1, 2011 at 21:25 #

    A few years ago, I was offered a job at my dad’s company – it’s a big engineering company, he doesn’t own it, and we wouldn’t have even been working in the same department, but he got me an interview, and they loved me.

    And I turned them down.

    I turned them down because, for someone who wants to be a writer, tech writing felt like selling out. And I had just gotten an “in the meantime” job in a grocery store. A GROCERY STORE. This is not a career. But I loved it. I loved that I could come home at the end of the day and not have to worry about work, because each day was its own stand-alone unit – nothing carried over like in my previous admin assistant job. And I was meeting interesting people, doing physical work (which I’ve found is really good for someone with an overactive mind), and having fun. So basically, I chose bagging groceries over tech writing.

    So I turned down the high-paying job at the big company. My husband-at-the-time told me repeatedly, after having said he’d support my decision either way, that it was the biggest mistake of my life. But I’ve never regretted it, except sort of theoretically, in moments where I wish I had more money and look back and think of how I could have.

    I still work at the grocery store. I still love it. Most importantly, I met Doug there, and my life is what it is because I listened to my heart all those years ago.

    Good luck to you, and happy new year 🙂

  3. mommyodyssey January 2, 2011 at 01:11 #

    hey ladies,
    thanks for the encouraging words! I know you’re right. I’ve known for quite some time. It’s just a question of finding the courage.

    much love!

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