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A pregnant lady walks into a bar…

30 Dec

A post by one of my favorite bloggers in this new blogosphere I’m discovering got me thinking.

Basically it’s about how people who haven’t gone through this kind of thing don’t get it, and some of them react like total idiots.

And also about how hard it is to see other women pregnant and happy, or with a brand new baby in their arms.

Yeah. It sucks. I mean really. Yesterday in my “intro to yoga” class the instructor and some of the students started talking about baby yoga and raising kids.

Where I usually leave the class relaxed and happy, last night I had to take a xanax by the time I got back home. And this was just talk. No babies or pregnant women were present.

Then I think about the moment when I do finally get (and stay) pregnant. Of course, by the time I get to the third trimester I’m gonna scream it from the rooftops! Victory! Look at me! I’m knocked up!

So really I can’t fault all of those ladies. I mean it’s not their fault that I’m having a hard time.

But you know what REALLY gets me mad?

It’s not the happy mommies. It’s the incompetent mommies. It’s those idiot teens that have babies at age 16 and don’t know just how lucky they are, and go screw their kids up.

It’s those stupid women in their late twenties who are “too busy with their careers” to keep their babies when they get knocked up. They really piss me off. And I’m pro-choice!

Octomom – you’re an egotistical bitch. Stupid paternity test a-holes on the Maury show? Go dig a hole and bury yourself in it. Lohans? You are incompetent douchebags. People who keep their kids on (literal) leashes? May a pitbull, released from his leash, bite you in your private parts. Abusive parents? If there is a hell, I hope there is an extra evil place there especially for you.

And don’t even get me started on the Goslins or the Palins.

I can think about stuff like “this experience is a lesson for me”, “I will see it as a great turning point in my life”, bla bla bla.

But I honestly think that karma is either non existent or makes no sense at all. Why do a-holes get to be parents and some great people (yes – including myself!) have such a hard time?

Stupid people are stupid and piss me off.

Anybody else out there up for a law requiring “asshole checks” before people are allowed to get pregnant?

I’m not bitter. Really. I swear.

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12 Responses to “A pregnant lady walks into a bar…”

  1. runnyyolk December 30, 2010 at 21:38 #

    Haha, great post. Couldn’t agree more! Octomom is a freak.

    PS-Thanks for calling me one of your favourite bloggers. You’re so sweet.

  2. slcurwin December 30, 2010 at 21:57 #

    lol, Just putting this out there. I kept my son on a leash for a long time because he inherited my chronic wander (leash turns into backpack). It was for his own safety.

    Great post, I love the “asshole checks”

    • mommyodyssey December 30, 2010 at 22:07 #

      Oy – sorry about that *blush*. :-/ That is definitely understandable.

      • slcurwin December 30, 2010 at 22:18 #

        lol, I know what you mean, but I just thought it was funny. My parents had to keep me on a least too and when I was in Thialand my buddy had to hold my hand all the time or he’d lose me in the crowd.

  3. Marie December 30, 2010 at 21:58 #

    Got here by way of Yolk, and I gotta say, I agree with everything you’ve said. (Ranted?)

    We need a license to drive, a license to get married, a license to FISH for crying out loud, but anybody can pop out a kid? Meanwhile, here we sit – maybe not perfect parents, but comparatively perfect parents – waiting and hoping and mourning because some incompetent 16-year-old gets what we can’t have AND gets her own T.V. show about it.

    Also, I went to a new dance class at my gym once, shortly after my m/c, only to discover the instructor was like 7 months pregnant. I walked out and never looked back.

    • slcurwin December 30, 2010 at 22:21 #

      I dont actually watch current tv. Is there really a reality show about a pregnant 16 year old? That horrible!

      • mommyodyssey December 30, 2010 at 22:36 #

        @marie: if there was a pregnant woman in my yoga class I swear I would walk out too. Luckily the new instructor turned out to be an old school friend so at the end of the lesson when she asked why I seemed restless I told her the truth. I believe she will censor the baby talk from now on – and I have no problem with that. 🙂
        @Slcurwin: There are actually two of them from what I can tell: “16 and pregnant” and “Teen Mom”.
        There was an article somewhere not so long ago that since the shows started airing there has been a rise in teen pregnancy.
        Did I mention that stupidity annoys me? 😉

        • Marie December 30, 2010 at 22:40 #

          Yep. Teen Mom is the follow-up to 16 and Pregnant. I was at a party the other night where a friend’s boyfriend suggested they make a new show, a sort of prequel if you will, called “15 and Slutty.”

  4. Hemlock January 4, 2011 at 01:39 #

    I LOVED this post! I really did. It made me smile to know that I’m not the only one who gets aggravated by all the incompetent assholes out there reproducing. 🙂

  5. rolig January 7, 2011 at 17:37 #

    I hate pregnant-people.
    Ok. not all of them but sometimes i just can’t stand them.
    Reality makes it so unfair, I know there where times i detached from friends I knew that got pregnant. I know its sound awful, but the parenthood-odyssey of mine (which is very different than yours but still) makes me furious on some of the going-to-be-parents-with-no-effort.
    The good news is that I strongly believe that our odyssey makes us better parents. Our efforts make us more appreciate the privilege of being parents.
    I just hope it won’t take to long. Don’t want to be to good parent 🙂

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