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Rollercoaster

27 Dec

There are moments lately when I feel so low that all I see is a dark black abyss.

I was never a person who reached out when I was in crisis. I always was the strong one. I always tried to take care of myself. When it came to the big stuff, I felt like I didn’t want to be a burden on anyone.

I never wanted to be “the needy one”. “The one who needed help and support” For me, that was pure weakness.

The lesson I’ve learned in these past few weeks is what a huge mistake that was. Keeping your pain to yourself is not the answer. It’s ok to reach out for help when you need it. Whether it’s going to a psychiatrist, calling a friend, or reaching out to total strangers on the inter-webs.

Today I was in crisis mode.

I felt the abyss open up and I thought it would swallow me whole.

But instead of succumbing to it I picked up the phone.

And my two sisters from another mother calmed me down enough to think clearly. They reminded me that what is happening to me will pass. That there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

Then I reached out to someone who I hadn’t spoken to for  a long time, but thanks to the power of facebook I knew that she herself had gone through her own mommy odyssey, and today she is in a wonderful and happy place.

I reached out – and she was there. She listened, she shared, and she gave me hope.

Sometimes I grasp onto hope with both hands and it sticks around for a while. Sometimes it slips through my fingers.

Today an amazingly strong woman made me embrace it.

HOPEFULLY it sticks. 🙂

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One Response to “Rollercoaster”

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  1. For my sisters in blog-land « mommyodyssey - January 10, 2011

    […] while back I posted this. And I think that post was basically the beginning of my climb out of the mud pit and back into the […]

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