Chapter 14: bless you, xanax

17 Dec

And 14 posts in, we are up to yesterday. I go to the shrink, and he gives me this lovely little pill. And for the first time in months I feel calm.

It’s just for the next couple of weeks, until the Lustral/zoloft kicks in, but my god – clarity is a good thing. I am functioning, I can concentrate. I can eat again (which may or may not be a good thing!).

I keep on poking around in my mind looking for a panic attack. Sometimes I find the beginning of one. Sometimes I don’t, but that’s progress.

Yesterday I even managed to speak to my psychologist about being creative again.

You know – looking at this objectively dear reader, whomever you are, you may think I’m nuts. You may think it’s a cop-out to take pills to deal with my crap.

Heck – I feel that way sometimes.

But a friend once told me that pills are a bridge to help you step from darkness into the light. And lord knows, I need that bridge.

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