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Chapter 7: My world collapses

16 Dec

Ok – so I was dreading getting to this point in the story. Deep breath. Here goes.

A couple of weeks after my birthday I start bleeding. Not spotting. Really really bleeding.

Emergency  doctors appointment (he sees nothing on the US but believes me that I had 20,000 positive home tests).

blood test. Confirms HCG levels at around 900. Way too low for where I’m supposed to be.

Then the pain starts.

I’m not going to go into a description of what it feels like to miscarry naturally. It’s actually less painful than a D&C. But psychologically – it’s about 100 times worse.

One week of a continuous nightmare.

Second doctors appt. Yes – the baby is gone. No more fetal material left in the uterus.

Then – I Break into a million tiny little pieces.

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