He was born and died on a Tuesday
But after a while, I realized that I couldn’t hate all Tuesdays.
He was born and died on the 21st.
But after a while, I realized that I couldn’t hate all of the 21sts.
He was born and died in February.
I still hate all of February.
Last year, on February 21st, we planted an almond tree, and I went in to get my cerclage to keep Bunny safe inside me. The end of one year marked the beginning of a new journey.
This year, on February 21st, we’ll be spending the day looking for a new home for us, so we don’t have to commute so much. So we can truly have the time to enjoy our family. Another new journey begins.
Two years ago, on February 21st, my son died and was born. I guess that too was the beginning of a journey.
I hope every February 21st will be able to mark beginnings and not ends.
Tomorrow will be sad, tomorrow will be happy, tomorrow will be hard. Tomorrow will be mostly about looking forward, not looking back.
So today I want to look back. But not flash back. Look back, with hindsight, with insight.
Look back and thank my son.
Thank you Nadav for teaching me about bravery.
Thank you Nadav for making your parents’ marriage stronger.
Thank you Nadav, for teaching me that I can overcome anything.
Thank you Nadav, for giving me perspective, and making things that once seemed insurmountable now seem trivial.
Thank you Nadav, for setting up the chain of events that eventually led us to your amazing little sister.
Thank you Nadav, for teaching me what it truly means to be a parent. For making me a better parent to her.
Thank you Nadav, for making me take a moment to appreciate every coo, every smile, and yes, even every cry from her.
I think that one day, when she is old enough to understand, when she is old enough to learn about her big brother, she will thank you too.
Thank you Nadav for visiting us and giving us these gifts. I just wish you could have stayed longer.
Tomorrow, please look at the sky, or a pretty flower, or your spouse, or your children, and think of my son. If only just for a moment.
Because he deserves to be remembered.
I would give him more than that if I could.