- Seriously guys – I have NO TIME. I’m really sorry for the disappearing act. I just got hired as a full-time employee rather than an outside contractor by the company I’ve been working for for the past year (yay!), and it’s awesome – but it’s not doing wonders for my work load, to say the least.
- Which brings me to day care. Holy crap. Seriously. First of all, practically every place we’ve contacted doesn’t have any openings until September (!) which is of no help at all, considering there’s a slight chance we may not even be living here anymore in September. We’ve found ONE place that we visited on Friday, but I admit I’m having a bit of a freak out over it. How will I know if something there isn’t right? How will I know she’s being taken care of properly? Is it even possible for me to like anything that involves me not being with Bunny 24/7? We’re not planning on starting until March. But still – OMG this is too soon. We’re only going to do half days for now but I still am having a really hard time wrapping my head around it.
- Plus – this shit’s expensive! So now I’m going to feel all sorts of pressure to “justify” the expense. I admit, it feels weird sending Bunny to day care when I work at home three days a week. I also know that it’s the best solution for my sanity. I need those few hours to GET SHIT DONE. I need a haircut. I need new glasses. We need to find a new apartment closer to work. And most importantly – I need to not be working until 1-2am every night. It’s just hard no matter which way I look at it. The only upside is that I still have a month and a half to process it all. That is – assuming we actually decide this is the right place for Bunny. If that doesn’t happen – then we’re totally screwed. At least in the short term until we move. If we ever find the time to find a new place. Sigh.
- I admit, I’ve been having a shitty week. One of Shmerson’s Twitter followers is in the process of losing her twins at 22 weeks. She reached out and I’ve been doing my best to support her, and I’m REALLY glad I can be there for her. Being able to help like this gives losing Nadav some meaning. But it’s making me think about him. A lot. Exactly a month from today will be two years. In a lot of ways it still feels so raw. This week he’s especially at the forefront of my thoughts.
- On top of that, Bunny’s having a bit of a tough time. Some digestive issues (no poop talk, I promise), and I think her first tooth may be coming in because she’s been visibly in pain. I hate seeing that so much. I feel so helpless sometimes when I don’t know how to help her.
- All of this is making me even more sleep deprived, which I think is kind of amplifying it all.
- Ok, I didn’t mean to get whiny. Generally things are AMAZING. The new job has given me a real sense of stability after being a freelancer for so long, and I have this amazing little person in my life who makes me endlessly happy. We just need to take some steps to lighten the load on me a bit. We’ll get there in the end. Things are never perfect. But if there’s one thing I’ve learned is that everything is temporary – both good and bad.
- So I’ll try to spend this week focusing on the good. (And attempting to ignore the copious amounts of caffeine I’ve been consuming. )
- And enjoying every moment of my amazing little girl.
Hope all of you out there in bloggy-land are doing well! How are you all? Tell me in the comments!